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He has Lewy Body Dementia. When I visit he starts with let’s go home. This is stressful.

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I agree with "when the doc says you ate well enough to come home" but then distract him with talking about things he used to enjoy. "When was the last time we went to a ball game? I head there are some with air conditioning now, can you imagine!"
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Reply to surprise
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Say, "Oh, I know," as you give him a hug.
OR
"I will visit you as long as you are here".
Or
"You can come home when the doctor says you are better"

Change the subject, keep your visits short.

Hugs for you! This must be hard and upsetting to hear, and to then go home without him too. My elderly loved one is okay at the AL, and never asks to go home, he is now fine living there, but admits he is lonely.

How you are coping with the stress is what matters. Maybe you are suffering more than your husband. Learn to treat yourself as if you matter too, because you do.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Tell him you forgot you have chores or something you have to do & say see ya tomorrow..,.
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Reply to CaregiverL
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I know that telling you this is the reaction of 99% of people in a facility doesn’t make it any easier, but it’s true. How long has he been there? It can take months for the person to adjust to the new situation they’re in. And, in my mother’s mind, “home” was her house with her parents in the 20’s and 30’s.

If you visit him daily for hours at a time, you may want to visit less. He associates you with “home”. While you’re there, he will not engage with anyone else.

When he greets you with the wish to go home, choose a therapeutic fib to tell him. “The house is being fixed up and everything is a mess.” “We have to wait until the doctor says you can go home. He (or she) has to make that decision.”

Its not easy to deal with, I know. I coped by keeping my visits short and positive. When my mother became dramatic, or nasty, I left.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Carol80 Dec 2, 2018
Thank you. He has been there just two weeks. Looks like I have a long ways to go.
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