I now need to move my mother quickly from her current assisted living because of medication mismanagement and no hot water. I just learned that this AL has a recent atrocious history of violations. I was recently off work for a total hip replacement and am still recovering. Being self employed, I can’t miss any more work because I had no income this past month because I was off for surgery and recovery. I can go to work, but I am just now regaining strength. My brothers do not help. I found an excellent AL close by that I can move her to right away. The problem is that they only have a smaller apartment available. Mom wants me to take her to see it, but I can’t physically move her around on snow and ice right now because of my physical limitations. I also can not take any more time to argue with her about the size of the apartment. Her health is the critical thing now, not the size of her apartment. I also can’t take off work any more during the week since I was off for my own health reasons. I need to move her quickly. Her doctor agrees. What resources are there to help us through this time? I am not even able to sleep now because I am so worried as to how I am going to handle this all by myself. I can’t do it by myself during this worst possible time.

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You certainly have a full plate TwoWorlds. I would follow the advice given above. Hire a moving company & let them pack her up.
Hip replacement surgery is no joke, actually I just had mine replaced 2 weeks ago and still can’t do much of anything without assistance.
I am so sorry you are having to cope with your mom’s move and your surgery at the same time. I hope you feel stronger every day! You have to take care of yourself first to be able to take care of others. Take time for you!
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Ask the new AL for help. They may know movers, transport providers, packers and aides they can recommend to do all the heavy lifting. Pretend you've got no legs - you're the project co-ordinator, not the general factotum and dogsbody here.

To justify moving mother without her say-so - her current situation is unacceptable. The new AL initially is to get her out of the unacceptable situation. If she really really hates it AND she can find a better one AND she can fix to get herself moved, you won't stop her. That's the deal. She can take it or leave it.

For the move you need:

mother distractors/entertainers/cab service

You need to decide:

dates and timings

You need to delegate. Sure you don't want to give your brothers an opportunity to surprise you? Without being sexist (much!) men are often a lot better at taking a specific order than at responding to a general appeal for help.

E.g. Mother is moving on Friday 23rd February from [address] to [address]. Would you be able to collect her in your car at 10:00, take her out for brunch, and deliver her to her new apartment by 14:00? Please let me know by [reasonable deadline].

And if they won't, okay - hire a cab to do all the driving and do that bit yourself. Make sure your cell phone's charged.

Breathe deeply. As Golden put it "this poo will pass."
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