I have posted several questions before and everyone is so kind and helpful. I am feeling overwhelmed right now and could use some advice.
My mom has been in a nursing home since May. She is 67, has MS, and broke her hip this year which has resulted in her not being able to transfer herself so she needs 24 hour care now. I have a family and cannot take care of her, my husband works long hours and rarely gets a day off, and we have a 5 year old, almost 3 year old, and I am due with our next baby girl in a month.
The only other help I get is from my MIL, she visits my mom once a week. My mom is about 15-20 minutes away from where we live and I have been visiting her three times a week, about two hours each time. I am letting my mom know that soon I won't be able to visit as often once the new baby is born, and she only complains about how lonely she is and how depressing it is when no one visits her. I try my hardest not to feel guilty, I am doing the best I can and I am sorry she can't see that. I get pretty frustrated. Her memory is also getting bad. I will tell her things several times and each time she says, "no one ever told me that". Just this past weekend for some reason she thought I was visiting when I never told her I was going there. She called me crying that she was expecting me and waiting around.
I have tried to get her to try out the activities the nursing home has. She said she has gone to them and they are ridiculous and there are so many wheelchairs she can't even enter the room. She doesn't go outside because all the doors in the place need to have a code entered and the doors are all very heavy. Other residents do go outside, it is a pain for them but they do wait at the door for someone to let them in and out. I understand that inconvenience on her but I wish she would just try.
I have been part time taking care of her since I was 16. It is hard for me to fully stop and just let her handle it on her own, I feel that is unfair to her. I am not wanting to do that but I do want her to try to get her own life at the nursing home, if that is even possible, and not have her life revolve around me. I feel selfish but I know at this time in my life, my husband and children do need to come first.