I have recently moved back to the USA, Florida, after 16 years living and working abroad as an Art teacher in an International School in London. I am a 56 year old independent woman who has lived away for many years. Before London I was in Caracas Venezuela for 15 years. I always visited my mother during the summer and winter school holidays. Having said that I am aware that our mother daughter relationship has not been the easiest. My mother is 85 and has always been a very strong, outgoing, practical woman. Very kind with the rest of the world but since I remember in my teenage years quite dominant with me. She is indeed a good woman just very strong. I think she wears very strong batteries. She is in good health but I have noticed she is a bit slower which is natural considering her age. I have grown trying to protect myself and have an independent personality. One phrase vivid in my mind until today is my mother saying, that I should not discuss what she thinks and that I should always say "Yes mother" because she is a parent. I couldn't disagree more. Her very old fashioned ways come from a father who was strong and the very dominant figure in the family. When I try to engage into a conversation with my mother about finding ways to help our relationship grow in a positive direction despite having lived independently from each other for many years, and that as adults we both have a mind of our own, she gets into her parent role play not allowing for these conversation to flow and evolve. She is parent, I am daughter. She wants to constantly instruct me. I have read many of your articles and suggestions and know I need to establish boundaries, and will try the 'detached with love' technique to see if it works. Many of your articles say that becoming a caregiver for a parent it is not quite easy. I need to stay mentally and physically healthy as well. I have made a choice to move back to the USA, to be with mother and help her as much as I can. I hope our relationship can improve and become more relaxed. She tells me she is happy that I am back and when I mention that perhaps it will be better I get my own flat she starts saying that I am threatening her. I will continue to read your articles as they have helped. I write today as I wanted to vent out my frustration especially after an early encounter today with my mother once again as usual imposing and telling how I should say things. As an educator I now recognise that at times I was bullied by my mother. Making a huge change in my life to be closer to my mother was my choice (currently living with mum) and I am happy I did, yet I have been quite stressed.