Ok so here's the situation. I don't know if this is the right place but I'm at the end of my rope here.
My mother has always had a very specific opinion about nursing homes, and it was never a good one. I can see why: my grandparents died in one, in fact we sent my grandmother to one for what was supposed to be a week and she died there in 3 days because we're pretty sure they purposely upped her morphine to lethal levels, and my father died there at a relatively young age because of heart troubles.

Now to this disaster of a week. Mom went to the hospital with gangrene on her leg (long story). They did a couple surgeries, and they were talking about letting her come home for the weekend. Nice! Except.

Mom has no primary care physician.
They won't let her go home without a primary care physician.
They are wanting to send her to a nursing home instead. I absolutely CANNOT let that happen, I'm afraid my mom would give up and I'd lose her too. Please help me. Everyone's saying there is no other option. There has to be please.

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You don't tell us much here. Is this strictly a rehab issue or does your mom require some level of long term care? What is her overall medical condition? Is your mother on Medicaid? If not, does she qualify for Medicaid? If so, she can apply for a Medicaid waiver. A Medicaid waiver is a provision in Medicaid law which allows the federal government to waive rules that usually apply to the Medicaid program. It essentially allows the recipient to stay in their own home to receive all the Medicaid benefits instead of being sent to a care institution. There are different types of waivers and each state has its own rules.
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I don't understand. Are you telling us that Mom developed GANGRENE and never saw an MD until she ended up in the hospital with it? I think the hospital staff, knowing that she was allowed to develop this severe condition, is now fearful to discharge her without a doctor. I don't blame them at all. That would amount to an "unsafe discharge.
Contact the hospital Social Worker. I believe that the hospital currently believes that discharging Mom home to you is an unsafe discharge, that she will not have followup care. contact the Social Worker. This person can help you connect your mother up with an MD. Be warned; I think with no followup care your Mother may be placed in guardianship of the State so she receives medical care. Gangrene is deadly.
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Can the hospital social worker not help you find a primary care physician for your mom? And if not, your mom could go to rehab(which normally is in a nursing facility)temporarily, until she's strong enough to come home, and you have found a Dr for her to follow up with. You can also check with her insurance, to see what PCP's are in her network, and then call around to see who is accepting new patients. Wishing you the best.
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It sounds like you're talking about your mom being sent to a Skilled Nursing facility for REHAB, not for permanent placement. Right? That's a whole different ballgame than living in the SNF for good.

Do you expect your mother to go home and have no follow up appointments with a primary care physician? Does she live alone, and if so, would you expect her to take care of herself with no help? Are you willing to take her home with you and nurse her back to health?

These are some realistic questions to answer! Your mother has had surgeries for gangrene, and most likely needs physical and occupational therapy for a few weeks to regain strength and get back on her feet again.

What you're doing is having an emotional reaction to your loved ones passing away years ago. We can't prevent that from happening, no matter WHERE they live, in reality, especially when heart troubles exist or by the time hospice is involved with end of life care (morphine). Try to calm down and think about what's REALLY happening here.

Is she being sent to the SNF for rehab? Or is she being placed there for good? If so, how is her stay being paid for? Medicaid? She has a case worker/social worker from the hospital and THAT is the first place to start to get real answers. The next step is see about getting your mother a primary care doctor and regular medical care.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
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You do not indicate any other medical problems your mom has so I am just going to toss out a few things.
Can she go to rehab for a time? This would help get strength back and recover from surgery.
During that time you can search for a primary care physician that will accept a new patient.
You could even ask the hospital if they can refer you to one that is in her plan if that is a concern. (the doctor that is taking care of her now, would he or she accept her as a patient?)
I do not know how long it has been since you have had experience with "nursing homes" but there have been changes. What used to be a nursing home is now Skilled Nursing Facility. Rehab is typically in a facility that also has Skilled Nursing but they are not the same. And then there is Memory Care, Assisted Living and Independent Living all with different levels of care. (Independent Living has no care by staff)
Rehab is for a specific time frame it is not permanent placement.
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