Hi, new member here. My name is Anita. I’m an only child caregiver to my mother who suffers from mental health issues and is now having cognitive decline. She has been diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment but I fear she is heading toward an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. It runs in my family and I work in the field so I know the signs. It is both scary and sad to watch this happening.
My biggest issue is being the sole support is going to be a problem for me eventually since I work. She lives with me and has for the past 5 years due to financial issues. I am trying to get Medicaid for her to help cover costs because financially I am pretty strapped also and things will only get worse as her health worsens. Once we’re (hopefully) approved, I think/hope she will be able to stay in an Adult day care center at least while I’m at work so I don’t have to worry about her burning the house down.
Problem is, she’s in denial and deeply paranoid so any sort of day care center will be seen as a home that I’m trying to take her to and never return or something. She won’t see the logic of it and will feel I’m out to get her because I have it in for her. This is just what her brain does. I am not sure how to handle any of this.
Needless to say, I’m overwhelmed. I’ve been the parent for many years now and I’m pretty burnt out already. To think I have to do this longer and find patience from some unknown reserve feels impossible and I guess I’m just looking for someone to talk to about this because nobody I know is going through this and I’ve been unable to find any support groups for people like me. For some reason, people just keep telling me how bad I have it. Yeah, thanks. Super helpful. 😞
You mentioned people just keep telling you how bad you have it. Well, mine was the opposite, I had people telling me how lucky I was to have my parents lived so long [mid to late 90's]. I was just too exhausted to feel lucky.... [sigh].
I was in the same boat, only child, and I didn't know any one who was going through this. Dementia? What is that? Believe me I had to dive into research and learn quickly. So when the time came when my Dad would climb into his time machine after 4pm each day and transport back to the 1940's, I understood what was happening.
Actually Dad was a sweetheart, it was Mom who was the Commander and Chief of their household. Thus, no caregivers would come in on her watch. Oh dear.
Keeping my fingers crossed that your Mom's Medicaid will be approved.
I have ave a wonderful supportive husband who listens to the stories and is right beside me when I have to get her a plumber or get the roof replaced or other things she needs.
I envy those who have these wonderful relationships with their parents. It makes me feel horrible, but I see little but responsibility. If she would allow me to look into assisted living..but no! Plus she squandered much of her money along the way and her house has a reverse mortgage, so there’s nothing to “sell” to get an entry fee for the nice places.
Its nice to see im not alone in this. Thanks for listening to my rant!
Kim