My Aunt's 88 yrs old with dementia and lives in her own home alone. I was appointed to be her Durable Power of Attorney. I'm also, her caregiver. My Aunt has control of her Checkbook and wont give it up. I tried many times asking her to let me hold-on to her checkbook for her but, she refuses. I don't live with her to know what all checks she writes. She banks at Chase, Chase Bank wont let POA's have access to online banking is what they told me. Inorder for me to see her bank transactions I have to drive to her bank personally to ask for a bank statement each time. That gets to be a pain and gas costly for me to do anymore. As I'm her POA it's my job to keep track of all spending she does and keep records.
The other day she received a 1099 tax paper in the mail stating an amount of $888.00 of what she made last yr. My Aunt thought it was a bill she owed. So, she wrote out a check for $888.00 and put it in the mailbox. Luckly I caught it before the mail man did.
Things like that is what I'm going thru with her. She feels she is paying her bills as if she doesn't need help doing so. But yet, she turns around calling me up to come over to help her with her bills because, she gets confused. She's the old school type that writes checks for everything and anything. She can be scammed very easy if someone would attempt to do so. A total stranger can obtain a $1000 personal check from her if they would attempt. And that's what I'm afraid of. Some stranger came to see her the other day asking for $100 and she wrote him a check is what she told me.
With her dementia causes her to forget what checks she writes. The other day she stated to me that (someone is getting into her checkbook and writing checks out. That's not my hand writing. But, yes it is her hand writing and those are checks she wrote. It's coming to the point to where she is starting to accuse me of writing out checks and I truely don't!...She's the only one that has her checkbook and sleeps with it at all times. She has dementia and taking pills for dementia. But, was never told incompatent by a doctor.
Here's another problem, If she would ever decide to let me hold-on to her checkbook? The next following day she will forget she did so and knowing her will call the cops on me. She forgets everything all the time. Everyday is like rewinding a tape to her. By her paying her bills on her own gives her independents. She always says there's nothing wrong with me I pay my bills. Half the time she does do a good job paying her bills I give her that. It's not the bill writing checks I'm worried about it's writing personal checks out to strangers and others is my main concern. Because, at the end of all of this I'm the main feller to be pointed to. How do I know where the money went when she writes the checks.
I look over her checkbook sometimes to see what bills she paid. Every check she writes it's her writing and her signature on every check. But, some how she has the nerve to accuse me of writing out checks until I rewind the tape and remind her she did write the checks. Everytime I go to see her I have to rewind her mind. How can I keep track of her spending as her POA if she don't give me her checkbook? And knowing her if she does ever decide to give me her check book. The next day she will forget she did so and call me a theft. I go to take care of her every other day. Everytime I go see her. And when I do go see her, She tells me I haven't been to see her in 2 weeks. Until I rewind her mind that I was their to see her yesterday. Then, she says oh, I'm sorry I forgot.
She don't get out much. When she needs cash for spending money I have her writeout a check for $300 Cash then, and I go to the bank and cash it for her and sign as POA. I do this about once a month or so for her. Some how she's always short on cash. Money comes missing and I don't know why. Sometimes I wonder if she is either hiding money or giving someone money. She sure don't give me a dime for what all I do for her. She put me in her Will. She says I get it all when she dies. House and all she says.Ya right!...I think she would rather burn it all before giving any to me.I don't get any reinbursement of my spending for caregiving for her. Cost me over $100 per month just in gas not counting other cost. She feels since I'm in her Will I don't need to be reinbursed. Ya right wait till she dies. I tell her she may out live me!..So many elderly people use Wills to obtain free help it's not funny. I call it a hook!. They sink their hooks into you to obtain free help. She don't have much assets. If medicaid would ever get involved bye bye to it all. I'm not Joint on her accounts.
Thanks for hearing my venting. I need advice?