My very healthy, active 76 year old mom suddenly had to be taken to the ER a month ago due to pain. They diagnosed her with diverticulitis and put her in the hospital. She quickly got worse. She had bowel obstruction and an ng line was put in. She also developed pus filled abscesses in her abdomen and a drain line was put in. After a week she kept getting worse and they did open bowel surgery and had to resection her bowel in 3 places. It was perforated and there was fecal matter in her abdominal cavity. It was dying in places. She ended up with a colostomy. After another week she was still leaking fecal matter and they did a second surgery where they had to do an ileosotmy on the other side and ended up intubating her and putting her on a ventilator. After 2 days of not being fully closed up they did a 3rd surgery where thay washed her out and then stitched her up. After another day they took her off the ventilator. A couple days later she left the ICU and went back into a regular hospital room. She was having issues with breathing and fluid in her lungs so they put in a drain line in her lung. It has been over a month now since this first started .She is a shell of a person compared to how she used to be. She was very vibrant, active in many clubs, and always doing fun things. Now she cannot eat, is in constant pain, and barely talks. They do not know how long she will be in the hospital. It seems like every day there is a new complication or issue. She is weak and just wants to sleep. Now her incision on her abdomen is leaking and her ileostomy is leaking and they are trying to figure these two things out. It has all been so horrible watching her suffer so much and I cry thinking about how everything has changed so fast. Has anyone else dealt with this? What was the outcome? Right now I can't see anything good for the future. I am having so much stress from this I am having a hard time sleeping.
Has anyone spoken with your Mom about her current wishes in this fight. Does she wish to be a full code should sepsis take her? Does she wish to go back onto a ventilator if this is necessary? Is Social Services working with you? Have the doctors indicated there is little more that they can do?
I am so sorry. Your Mom is currently in a terrible situation. I myself, as an old RN, have diverticulitis. It is easy to ignore too long, it is easy to think it will right itself, it is easy to miss too long. It is not the worst pain, but you know it is "off". Not a "normal pain". I have twice caught it with antibiotics which are hard enough to take on their own, but as a nurse I know the danger that this weakening of the wall of the intestines represent. It doesn't go away. Perforation is always a worry. Worst of all, when you are having pain, that pain, with perforation BRIEFLY goes completely away, until you realize you are swelling and now you have already gone south. I just am so sorry, and wish you the best. Know that your Mom's situation currently is dire. I know your doctors have warned you of this. That they are doing their best and are currently in a situation of whack-a-mole, dealing with each new crisis as it comes. As she weakens she has less to fight with.
I am just dreadfully sorry. This is as individual as a case can be, and nothing really can be predicted from anyone elses story. I have seen people I thought had no chance recover. I have seen people I thought were certain to survive suddenly go septic and not survive. I am just very sorry.
Diverticulitis is not uncommon and more common as we age. It seldom goes to perforation, but it can, and I have seen people in their 30s die. It's very unpredictable as to outcome.
I hate to ask these questions but...Does she want to continue with procedures?
At some point Quality of life outweighs Quantity of life.
Have the doctors discussed what may happen in the next several weeks, months?
Is there an end in sight?
Is referring her to Hospice the best thing for her?
The reason I ask if you have had this discussion with or, or that you should is that you don not indicate any other prior health problems either physical or mental. If she is cognizant she should be part of this discussion. If she is not then if you are her voice, her decision maker this is something that you need to think about and make decisions that you think or know she would want. Not an easy task. Just make decisions that are in her best interest.
I used to say when caring for my Husband I was ruled by 2 major organs. My HEAD and my HEART and when the time came I hoped that the HEAD not the HEART would make the tough decisions.
When you make the best decisions you can, given the information you have then you have done all that you can. If you can go to bed at night knowing that you did the best you could that day then you can sleep well. If you make your decisions based on the information you have then you should not second guess yourself when you make your decisions.
I would ask for a medical review of her care up to this point (contact the patient advocate) and consider getting her to a bettet hospital.