I have huge amounts of resentment towards my 82 year old mother-in-law for not only being an overbearing mother to her son (who is also caregiver), but for continuing to compete with me and interfere with our life. Her dementia has caused her to be even MORE difficult to deal with. Her constant grumpiness, her constant demands and her unhappiness has BROKEN my husband. I feel resentment towards her because she's put our life on hold and we didn't even ask to be her caregiver.
We know it's not her fault for ending up with dementia. But we've had resentment way before she was diagnosed with this, but now it feels even worse.
We also feel huge amounts of resentment towards my sister-in-law for basically dumping her on us because she ended up not wanting anything to do with her own mother over money. So that left us no choice at the time (10 years ago when she wasn't sick)
Resentment has poisoned our desire to have anything to do with either my husbands mother or his sister.
But there's always that deep down guilt that we don't want to see his mother suffer.
Resentment is really hard to get rid of. We aren't bad people. We are good natured people who would do anything for almost anyone. But what do you do when you just can't do it anymore? When you resent the very person you are taking care of? AND RESENT THEM ***ALOT***