I find myself losing my temper alot, (nothing physical or verbal) and that is not me, and I feel like I am failing, what should I do?

These are feelings of a human being. After a while we do feel like failures and this frustration leads to anger and resentment. We can only do our best. Sometimes in order to do our best we need to step back for awhile. I have the same feelings of anger and frustration. I take it one day at a time knowing that whatever I do it's "nothing". Pray and pray again not just for your mother but for yourself so that you will be able to continue to give her care and maintain your health physically, mentally and emotionally.

If some type of respite care is available in your area, please try to take advantage of it. You are just as important as your mother, and it sounds like you need to take care of yourself and make time for some fun in your life.

I too have been dealing with my mother. My dad who passed in 2006 had left her shocked. She could not accept his death. Today she had dementia and forever moves things and hides thing, Everyday is almost a hunt of sorts to find thing people just use everyday. like tv remotes. I too have gotten angry after working hard all day to come home, only to now have to search for everything. Some things, i have never found to this day. Yes, i get angry and have voiced and got upset. I might add that this is almost every single day. My Family never understands and tells me that I got to calm down. HA Ha, they offer hardly no help at all and for years turned their faces away from me and this situation. And now they expect me to walk on water So its been 6 1/2 years, ive been at this and they do nothing, yet will be quick to be so uncaring to me in the situation, which makes it all the worse. QNo my friend...I understand you complelely. Just do what you can. For a while your life has to be spent. I know you love your mom. I love my mother too. May God gives both of us the strength to stand and keep on with this. Ask God to see you and see what makes you tick inside. Tell him how you feel. I am hurt from my Family, I have been let down and like you i feel like a failure and at times its all been overwhelming, It really is too much for one persaon to handle but too often its put on one person. My family is self centered like a lot of families and i always thought they would love and be their . Man, was i wrong about that. Stay strong and just talk to God and tell him how you feel. Tell him how you feel like a failure and you do not want to feel like that. God bless you and God bless you for taking care of Mom, like she did you. My mother is wonderful and I love her dearly in spite of her ways. Remember, you are never alone in this.

You are not failing! You are in a new and unknown territory in your life. Remember things are always changing! You will find yourself having to change in order to get through this. Understand that this is a process and in order for you to survive you need to not be too harsh on yourself. You will get though it all....remembering the love you have in your heart. My parents modeled patience for me and I continued to take pride in the fact that I inherited it. However, when my dad was in the beginning stages of dementia, I found that it was starting to wear thin. It was difficult to process that he was different ..stubborn, irrational...just plain infuriating at times. I lost my temper plenty of times and said things I NEVER would have dreamed of saying. It was an outlet for me but I realized hurtful to my parents, and guilt on my part. I always, after calming down and realizing what the real issue was ( they were no longer the strong ones who held me up...role reversal) made it a point to apologize to them. They really can't be held responsible for their actions as they once were. Because under the anger and frustration, we all knew the love was still there. As they continue to deteriorate mentally and physically, I find myself in situations that once would just set me off...I now look at them with a full heart of love. Their days are now counting down and I am really going to miss them and their love that they gave to me. Actually, my patience has become evermore present...and...I am more at peace with them and myself for it. I realize everyone is different and all situations are different....I only hope that I have been of some help to you in your journey.

Similar situation here, also since '09. Mom's doctor explained that depression is common in stroke victims and has been treating her with antidepressants since the stroke. She went off it once and the depression was soon evident. Talk to her doctor. He/she should know best.

I also had anger/depression issues as I began to care for mom (and dad) after the stroke. There are many ways to deal with these issues. Talk to your doctor if you can. For me, medication wasn't the answer, but talk therapy, exercise and meditation helped. It's important to remember that unless you care for yourself first, you won't be properly able to care for your mother.

I wish you the best.

You are not alone, believe me. It's hard not to some times because you get scared that they might hurt themselves, they hurt your feelings, etc. I just pray all the time asking God to give me patience and to help me keep my mouth shut. You certainly are not failing, you are human, and a good person for taking care of your mom. Keep your chin up and like jeannequibbs said talk to your doctor, maybe he/she can prescribe something to help you out. I have a therapist I talk to once a week, because my anger had gotten so bad, and she keeps telling me just what I told you. And Remember Take Care of YOU!
Keep coming to this site and venting also, it really helps! :)

Anger and depression go together a lot, too. cdo4fun is right. You are doing the best you can in the situation you've been handed. Talk to your doctor about your anger.

Good luck!

Anger and stress coincide alot. You have to keep reminding yourself you are doing the best possible thing for the situation you have been given. When it comes to our parents we all feel like failures sometimes. We keep comparing what would of they done and they were always so much stronger than we were. We forget that they raised us with the same strength and courage they had. Just do the best you can, if you need to take a walk for 5 minutes do it, count to ten do it, four deep breaths thru your nose and out your mouth. Whatever is happening at the minute can wait 2 minutes for you to compose yourself and get your anger under control. talk to your moms doctor about the depression some minor medication can definately help and talk to him about your moods too.