My mom is living with me in my home, I am the only child, we have a POA in place (and medical directive) and my name is on her accounts as a payable upon death beneficiary. I am the only child, lost my brother a few years ago at age 46, he was the favorite lol. Suffice it to say my and my mother's relationship is not ideal. She has CHF and dementia but is not too bad at this point. I am planning on trying to keep her at my home until I can't anymore. I am working on having a plan with some memory care facilities so that when it happens I can be semi prepared to place her in a facility. I am currently just starting the research process. My question is this. She gets a pension from my dad of about $3500 a month and has a decent amount of investments. When the time comes will the nursing home/facility require her/me to sign over all of her assets? Or will I be able to just have them pull the monthly fee out of her account keeping it in her/my name? Can anyone tell me how this works? Is it a state specific thing?
thanks in advance,
Grace
No, do not allow any facility access to Moms accounts. You can write a check every month. Keep her money separate from yours. Do not co-mingle funds. Medicaid will consider any accts with Moms name on it her money. You would have to prove differently. Do not pull any large amounts out without proper back up and it has to be used on her. You cannot be paid or take rent at this time because Mom is not competent to make a contract. Unless your POA stipulates you can be paid, you can't be. Selling of her Condo needs to be done at Market Value if Medicaid maybe applied for within the next 5 years. The proceeds need to be put in an acct with her name on it.
I don't see where to place her in a facility you will need a lawyer. I do see where u will need a lawyer if she needs to be placed on Medicaid because her monthly income of $3500 is probably going to put her over the cap allowed. In my state that cap is a little over $2300. That would make Mom $1200 over the cap. To get around this, a lawyer would set up a Miller Trust where the $1200 would be placed. This money reverts back to Medicaid upon Moms passing. You should check with a lawyer to see if your State allows such trusts.
When I was planning on putting Mom in respite care to attend an out of State wedding, I found the AL was having a 50% off sale, for life, to knew residents. I took that opportunity to place my Mom.
I SHOULD have put more of “her” money i to an account in my name earlier on in her care, because I would DEFINITELY have used it all for her (because it WAS HERS), but would have had a little more control and might have benefitted somewhat from the interest.
I don’t see any mention of your reasoning on your part for keeping your mother in your home, and you seem to have a pretty good idea about placing her, so I don’t understand why you’re not moving ahead with that goal now, while YOU are young enough to enjoy a life of more freedom.
Since it seems that neither of you are not overly fond of the other’s company, she would also have the advantage of a potentially more pleasant life in a good Assisted Living facility.
Balance. It sounds from your comments as though the balance at present is more in her favor than yours. Is that fair?
Find out if MC in your state can be paid for by a Medicaid Waiver after a certain number of years of "private pay".
I would not have them pull money out mom's accounts; I would put the bills on auto pay. If you have direct deposit from pension and SS, you will figure out how much mom needs to draw from her investments accounts (and in what order) to cover that bill each month.
You should also find out, up front, what percentage of the Memory Care charges are tax deductible as medical expenses. When my mom was in a NH, she was able to deduct most of the 10K per month from her taxes, thus reducing the overall cost by quite a bit.
Don't forget that if any of the money is coming out of a tax deferred account (401K, IRA, 403b or 457) you need to have taxes withheld or pay estimated taxes quarterly.
You might consider asking the Eldercare attorney about paying yourself a wage for caregiving. You don't want to end up jobless, homeless and broke when mom passes (if caregiving means that you are unable to be employed).