My then 82 yr old father requested that I move in and care for him after his wife passed away...I have been his sole caretaker for over 7 years...he has suffered several mini strokes and was diagnosed with dementia shortly after me ariving. I get no support whatsoever from my 2 siblings. We rarely see them. My father is now 89...and thriving living at home..I coordinate all of his care..medications and appointments...keep a clean him to doctors Recently my siblings decided to show up and without any care for his wellbeing tried to sell his and move him between their homes every few months. My career was focused around managing the care of disabled adults ...I tried to explain how detrimental that would be for him but they refused to listen. I advocated for my father to stay in his home ..we never asked them for ANYTHING...they reluctantly agreed..but started putting the idea in his head that I should have been paying him rent...he decided that he wanted me out and they helped him get an attorney to serve me a 60 day notice... which was drafted for oct 4th date... taped to my doorknob.... but I did not see it until October 9th.. and there was no proof of service.. anyway he has susequently been going through my things.. putting them out at the end of the driveway where it is considered free to take by other residents... he refuses to unlock the sheds which contain some of my belongings and has changed the locks to stop my access to my belongings inside the house. I drafted a dispute and with a witness given it to his attorney... I have never been compensated for my caregiving services. My siblings demanded that I give 24 hour care... but since I am now homeless and not providing his care he has missed numerous doctor appointments and even a necessary medical porcedure! My siblings are not providing any support to him! They consider my not paying half of his 700.00 rent as me taking advantage of him! What can I do?

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Call the police to get access to your belongings.

Call APS to report a vulnerable adult at risk.

Full-time caregivers do NOT pay rent to live with their loved ones. Instead, the LO usually pays the caregiver, if possible. I hope your siblings are just clueless, but I'm afraid they sound mercilessly greedy.

I hope you are not personally devastated by your father's new behavior against you. He has dementia. He is not thinking straight, and it sounds like your siblings are taking advantage of that. You know you have done your best for Dad, and somewhere in parts of his brain that he cannot access right now, your Dad knows it too.

I am so very sorry that you and your father are in this unhappy situation. Please stay in touch with us here, and let us know how this works out.
Helpful Answer (6)

Wow, this is a glaring example of how no good deed goes unpunished. Your siblings likely woke up to the realization that your father doesn't have too much longer to live, and they're afraid of losing their share of the inheritance if you should decide to stay in the house or have access to his accounts or whatever. Of course they have no idea what it takes to actually care for an elder - no idea that it would have cost far more than the rent money to pay someone to care for him, and that you have given up the chance to make other income while taking care of him.

I agree you should call the police to get access to your belongings. He doesn't have the right to withhold that from you or start putting your stuff on the curb during the notice period. But maybe you should also call APS and tell them that your father needs help and supervision and now he doesn't have it since you're not allowed to take him to his appointments, etc. Your siblings have left your father far worse off and I hope they are called to account for it.
Helpful Answer (8)

Call the police. You were given 60 days and are to have access to your property. No locks should have been changed. Really, all u did for Dad and they think u should be paying part of his rent. It would have cost lots more to hire someone to care for him.
Helpful Answer (5)

You need a lawyer, and if you want to continue looking after your father and protecting him from the depredations of his other children then an emergency application for guardianship would seem the way to go. But how and when did the relationship between your father and yourself get so hostile? You say that your siblings turned up "recently" and tried to move him between their homes "every few months" - so what is the timeline here? Are things beyond repair, or is this a short-term hiatus that you might be able to halt and reverse, do you think?
Helpful Answer (4)

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