Getting even with siblings. What would you do?

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My siblings have all of a sudden become interested with Mom's health; they always stated they didn't want to take care of her. Now that she suffers from dementia, they're all concerned and especially for their 'inheritance'. My 1 sibling has decided that Mom's Will needs to be redone as SHE can't find it and it's OUTDATED and she doesn't want to lose what she thinks she should get (she doesn't understand probate laws). This sibling has already committed fraud regarding Mom's Medical POA (I was appointed) and had Mom sign a legal doc that Mom doesn't know why she had to sign it, but was told by this sibling it had to be done. What my siblings don't know is that I have researched State Law and confided with an Estate Attorney. The State Law is on my side. The Attorney says to let this sibling do what she wants as 1) she's committed fraud 2) A new Will won't be recognized per State Law and will revert to the original (I have it safe and secure). I am named as Executress, so I will be in control. I have always tried to be fair with my siblings all of my life, even taken their punishment instead of snitching. After everything that I have been put through this past year with their total lack of including me regarding Mom etc; I want to do as Mom has asked in her Will, but on the other hand I feel that since they have cut me out of the sibling circle I will do a majority of what Mom wants, but I will draw a line in the sand when it comes to the money, house and vehicles. What would you do if all of a sudden your siblings go from not caring to we need to know what to do when she dies and who gets what? FYI, I have been seeing a therapist and it was determined my depression (bi-polar) is due to exactly what these people have done to me all of my life. I actually provided home videos to make sure it wasn't in my head to my therapist (He said he never had a patient do that). My Uncle, Mom's youngest brother, agrees with me as I keep him informed of everything going on. He took care their parents too. So, it boils down to I will kick my 1 sibling out of the house immediately and change all the locks on day 1. I am going to get even and don't want the guilt, but to stand up to them and tell them to eat it.

Answers 1 to 4 of 4
Your distress is understandable.  I would hate to see you continue to be excluded and punished by them.

There may be better ways to deal with siblings that don't involve you taking revenge or getting even. Ask your therapist and your attorney.

The goal is to get through this difficult time for you, with your sanity intact. Imo.
dkentz, first off I sympathize with you. My sibling's lack of interest, however, extended to the money. My Mom did not have much to leave us and that was never an issue.

I worry that this may have consumed you if you have gone so far as to take video and bring it to your therapist. In the end, the financial stuff will go according to the laws in place so this goal to get even may be to your own detriment. Living a happy life is the best revenge. Why not make that your goal instead. If your siblings are the pieces of trash that you make them out to be they will get whats coming to them with or without your help. Karma you know..........

Why not instead concentrate on making your Mom's last days as fulfilling as you can. All this other stuff can wait. Good luck to you.
Top Answer
I understand your anger, really I do.

But if you understand probate, know the state laws and are being advised by an attorney- you must also know that as executor you are legally bound to act in accordance to your mothers will - completely- not just partially.

An executor does not have the power to change or tweak the will - and a probate judge will make sure of it.

After everything you’ve been through it would be a shame to make matters worse in the name of getting even.
It’s up to you. They’ve got it coming. But no whining from you if you ‘get even’ and then get the guilts.

I’m afraid that ultimately it’d be better to just go through the legal process (probate) after your mom passes away. You’ve got something to hold over your sister’s head forever. She committed fraud. Do with that what you will. You have won.

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