I have a question about dealing with a delusional parent. My mom is often accusing my husband and me of things like stealing, or that her neighbors are up to no good, or saying that AARP is mad at her for not renewing her membership for three years (instead opting for a one-year renewal) -- she has that tunnel vision where everything is about her.
I know a lot of this is that her mind isn't working at its best, and most of the time I bite my tongue but sometimes I do want to argue with her -- "Really? Why on earth do you think your neighbor is a prostitute? How did you come to that conclusion?" and so on.
Does anyone have any advice for getting past that? I'm kind of a stubborn personality in my ways, but my mom is the queen of this. What she believes is law, to the point where she even denies basic science.
On one hand it's sad but on another it's annoying. How can I cope with this, since obviously her behavior isn't going to change or improve? Does anyone have any advice?

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Hi Heidi,
What you're dealing with is difficult to say the least, but you need to somehow figure out that arguing is just counterproductive. Your mom's situation is common for people with several types of dementia, particularly Alzheimer's. I'm assuming she is getting appropriate medical care.

I'd suggest that you call your local Alzheimer's association and as to talk with the social worker. He or she can help guide you as you learn to cope with this frustrating situation. You can also go online to and fine help, including someone to chat with.
Good luck. Many of us know exactly what you are going through so please keep checking back.
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Thank you, Carol. I know arguing is no good. I think part of me wants to battle that attitude she has of always being right, but I'm learning to bite my tongue more, or just try to change the subject. It's difficult because on one hand it's my mom and I expect her to know better -- after all, she raised me -- but obviously there are problems. And sadly I'm having a hard time getting her to accept the help she needs, medically in particular, so I'm going to have to try a social worker or try legal measures to get her help.
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It sure does take a lot of patience daily to deal with our loverd ones! I just nod my head all day, smile and then turn my head and roll my eyes!
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