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A family friend who is suffering from dementia is left in the care of her husband, who is now incapable of looking after her, the family are useless and do not want to take responsibility, and dont want to feel guilty about making the decision of putting their mum into care, or sheltered accomodation.


Other problem is my gf is is the daughter of the dementia sufferer, and she/we also have to care for our child who has Autism and needs 24hr care, my own family are also useless and live far away.


The husband does not want to move nor does his his wife (the dementia sufferer), obvously we cant force them to move, but the situation is causing stress physically on my gf and is causing a strain on our relationship, as if things werent bad enough due to looking after our autisic son, now over the last 2 years its getting worse.

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Since you are not family, your hands are tied. Your best bet is to have your girlfriend discuss this with the doctor and have a psych evaluation done. My boyfriends family is the same way, they dont want to force their mom into a nursing home even though she needs it. I needed to step back from the situation and let the family fail, you may have to do the same.
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You call Social Services for your county to ask they go out an do a wellness check. Your GF (their daughter) should make the call.
Your son should be on SSD and receiving assistance through a caseworker at Social Services for the Disabled.
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