My mom just moved into assisted living. Is it good to bring her to my house for visits or will that stimulate her wanting to go home?

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My mom was in Independent continuum care and now she is in assisted. Over the past 1 1/2 years all we have heard is her wanting to go back to her town to live. It seems to disrupt her settling in Just do not know what to do! Is it a good idea to take her for visits at her kids house in the same town? Or does it make matters worse? I live over an hour away and enjoy having her spend a weekend with me but is that making things worse. Bottom line: is taking her to familiar areas worse or better for her? She just cannot shake being homesick! We do not want to make things worse for her.

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What is Mom's condition? Does she depend on you to leave the facility or do they go out for little trips? Maybe if you take her out she can buy something like cookies and little napkins and invite some new friends in for a treat? Can you visit her and have a chat with some of the other residents? Does she socialize with her new neighbors? Going out and seeing new things, visiting anywhere does stimulate all the senses and also provides exercise....so try to evaluate all the benefits of excursions. Her crying might be an emotional response that she really cannot help as it brings up all sorts of memories....but it may also provide more benefit that you can measure. Also, when she is at her residence do they report that she is miserable or withdrawn ? Is she losing weight or despondent? So maybe the feelings are shared more with you. But I would bet many of the residents complain to each other that they are only there as a result of their kids not being able to take care of them.
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Keep her focused on where she IS. When you bring them back to the previous residence, it triggers a crying jag that can go on for days. It causes obsession and anxiety; avoid it.
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yes I have. Some days she is ok going back and some days not at all.
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Do you take her out for lunch or shopping now? Does she handle going back to her place ok now?
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this is a new facility. I know she needs to get out (who wouldn't!) so taking her on short shopping trips, are you saying, would be better?
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It all depends on the elder. Some are happy living in IL/AL and are glad to be away from a house with all the maintenance, the stairs, lawn mowing, property taxes, etc. Other elders will still believe they can still live on their own and afford to live in a house doing all the work.

If you feel that Mom will get homesick then don't bring her back to her hometown until she had really settled into Assisted Living. By change is this a new facility for her or part of an Independent Living complex? If something new, it will take time for her to make new friends and not want to be away from her new place.
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