How to get paid caring for an elderly Mother?
Asked by rosiemcgeesmith
If so how much per hour?
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People who don't have a spouse who brings in some income are left with finding a way to quit their job and still survive financially or else hire someone else to care for the parent. There should be no guilt in accepting payment for providing care if the family can afford it and it saves the parent from having to hire a stranger.
Likely no payment will compensate for the lost wages in full such as lost Social Security and subsidized payments for group policies as Freqflyer said. But some payment can help make it possible for an adult child to quit a job and help the parent rather than hire other care providers if that’s the preferred choice all around.
However, this should be done with the knowledge of the family and with some legal advice so that if the parents ever need to go on Medicaid there are no questions about the legality of the pay.
Most people would gladly provide the care for free and most do a lot of that, anyway, but if a job is lost the money to live must come from somewhere. Often people will combine families to make it work. Others can do shifts so that no family member must give up his or her job. Some work up a contract with the parent. Others find a way to provide the care and still pay their rent.
Whatever needs to be done is okay as long as it's open and above board.
Take care,
Carol
Thinking of this, would it be wrong for the parents to pay the caregiving child? Or is it better to save it to the estate to be shared by all siblings equally?
Emotions and resources really have to be kept separate. When it comes to love, children can never do enough for their parents, and parents can never do enough for their children. It is a two-way thing. The money part should be unemotional. People can have children without having to quit their jobs, because childcare is affordable and schools are free. Adult care is expensive, as well as being more physically difficult. I think it is quite okay to say, "I will quit work to take care of you if you'll pay me ___ to pay my bills each month." Each side loses some, but it would work better than what we often see now. If done correctly, it can be done with mutual love and respect -- both sides doing for each other.
And if someone on the outside doesn't like it, well, they got no dog in the race. And if the siblings resent seeing their inheritance shrink, they can be glad that they were able to work and live normal lives while the caregiving sibling took care of important things.
Home health care professionals here charge $35.00 an hour. If they are independent, you might get someone for $25.00 an hour. My acquaintance who has a full staff in her home, pays $11,000 per month.
So, don't short yourself on the pay. No one else is going to help you.
Thus, if a grown child needs money for their own retirement, and an aging parents offers a salary, I see nothing wrong with accepting it. Otherwise, the grown child will see their own retirement funds disappear quickly when they themselves get older. Then that grown child will be depending on their own children, if any, to help them get through their aging years.
A caregiving child may want to help the parent out of love, but the child still has to eat and pay bills for the remainder of their life. To ask someone to neglect their own needs is telling them to deny themselves of their own life and comfort. Loving parents wouldn't do this. Loving siblings wouldn't do this. I wouldn't expect it of anyone. If someone is financially comfortable, it would be fine to work full-time for free. If they aren't, then they can't afford to, nor should they be expected to. Love has to go both ways for it to work right.