My husband finally got his 94 year old sister in a great nursing home run by a Catholic religious order of nuns who are devoted to caring for the poor. Before we got her accepted here (got her on Medicaid, too) she lived in a private senior hotel where she sat perched on her daybed, with diarrhea stains all around her on the floor, in a dirty nightie all day watching tv. She paid extra (money she didn't have - husband had to pay off her bills, get her electricity turned back on, phone re-connected, etc.) to have her meals delivered. She would fall (almost blind, walks with a walker) about every 2 weeks and they would call the city fire dept to pick her up. Well, you get the idea. She is highly intelligent, very private and has a haughty, demanding manner. She has always been a terrible complainer. Even the last time she saw their brother who was just dx'd with stage 4 lung cancer she spent 5 minutes complaining about the service in the senior hotel where she was then living in that they served the plate from the wrong side. You get the idea.
What galls me now is that she is doing SO much better - she's clean, well tended medically, they gave her their largest apt (which she insisted on!) bring her to meals in the pleasant dining room (she's in a wheelchair now having developed a pressure sore on her heel from her previous place) gets physical therapy 2 x a day - they stop in every few hours to bring her juice and see how she is. Everyone is very nice. She has a device with a nurse call button on it and it never leaves her hand. They come in the morning and wash and bathe her, put her on the toilet, dress her and bring her to breakfast, then they wheel her for therapy, then back to her room for some tv watching then lunch, more therapy, then back to her room, then to dinner, then back to her room where they come in later and prepare her for bed. The tv never goes off even all night. Bottomline - why the 15 complaints? Its insane her life is 1000% better. Small things irritate her, the staff comes in at different times, they all don't follow the same procedures, the coffee is often cold, yesterday they served a potato and vegetables with a grilled cheese sandwich!! Those 3 items don't belong on the same plate! OMG! There is nothing to do at night - they should have speakers and music and concerts - LOL - like she would even go!! Is this typical for life long crabby people - being 94 or 24 her brother tells me she was always a whiner but everything is so good for her now - surely even she must see that!!! Infuriating!! We both worked so hard to find the best place she could afford, get her all checked out medically at her favorite downtown hospital (had to rent a van to get her there $200.00 a visit) move her so she would qualify then get her moved and settled in. Now visiting her here is almost as bad as at the previous place - just a different set of complaints. When we left there yesterday we were sniping at each other - I guess from all the negativity we just came from - the room was toxic. Even now my blood is still boiling from her constant bitching. We only visit her ever 2 weeks and he doesn't even want to go then but I feel we owe it to her, i.e. visiting the sick. Next time we are going to try to just keep interrupting her when she goes on a rant and see how that works - sigh - we are dumbstruck by her still so negative and unhappy attitude.