My 92-year old father had colon cancer more than 24 years ago. He has an ostomy bag and has been having a lot of pain for the last few years. Has a hernia under it, problems with leakage, digestion, etc. You name it he has it. I feel bad for him, but we have taken him to several doctors and all agree that at his age there is nothing that can be done. He also doesn't like to follow the doctor's suggstions and continues to do it his way. He says the doctors just don't care and can't be bothered. The last few days he has been complaining that the stiches (on his rectum) are hurting. I think after all this time there are no stiches, just perhaps scar tissue. Why all of sudden it is hurting him, is beyond me. He is insisting that I take him to a doctor. But I don't know who. I have made an appointment with his PCP just to satisfy him, but I know there is nothing that can be done. I think he is just looking for some miracle cure that doesn't exist. Either that or he is just looking for attention. I cannot work because I can't leave him alone all day. I feel terrible because I lose my temper with him all the time. I have my own health issues which I am struggling with, including extreme pain, dizziness, headaches, balance, diabetes, weight loss, etc. I am loosing my patience and just want to be left alone. But I cannot even think of putting him in a home, as it will kill him and we can't aford it. He is old world, eastern european style person who never saved or made much money. He never had a checking account (Until I opened a joint with him), never owned property or had credit and now living on his social security. He doesn't qualify for Medicaid as his monthly check is a few dollars above the threshold. At my wits end. Trying to appease him but I am ready to give up. I have three siblings. two of which could care less and don't even come to visit him. It's me and my husband only and we should be able to go on vacations and travel, visit friends, etc. but because of dad, we are trapped in our home. My husband goes to work and I try to help him from home.
God forgive me, but at times, I wish he would just pass and put him out of his misery. I don't know how else to help him. I try to take him on little outings to get some air, but he refuses. He is worried about his ostomy bag leaking and offending people or because of his enlarged prostate, can't go more than 10 minues wihtout going to the bathroom. He doesn't want to eat and then complains he's not feeling right (he's not getting the right nutrients). So we are stuck. I do have a sister who comes to visit a couple of times a month, but she is very busy taking care of her grandchildren and her job. Dad refuses to stay with so that my husband and I can get away. Don't know what else to do.