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Ah. Your profile says dementia so that is what I assumed. I suppose this kind of paranoia could be something else, but whatever it is, it is not your dad being his normal self! It will be good to have him evaluated.
Thank you for replying to my ambiguous question - (I didn't realize it was going to post before I could explain further.) Nonetheless I appreciate your response. I suspect my dad is beginning to show signs of dementia. He has not seen a doctor about this yet - however, I'm in the midst of speaking with a geriatric specialist about getting him evaluated. In the meantime, any advice is helpful, especially for my mother who is obviously feeling very hurt by these accusations. I also worry about her because he becomes angry with her easily.
Oh how very, very sad! This is not at all unusual behavior with dementia. It must be terribly stressful for all of you.
In general, it is considered best to go along with delusions and not to argue about them, but obviously going along with this one is not going to help anything! Still, try not to be argumentative but rather reassuring and comforting.
"Oh, sweetie, how awful you must feel to think I (or mother) would do such a thing after all we have been through together. That must make you feel hurt and betrayed and angry. I don't know how that idea came to you, but I assure you I love you very much. I will never abandon you. I don't have any boyfriends. You are the one I've always loved." Etc.
It may be of some comfort to Mother to know she is not alone, and to know that it is definitely the dementia that is causing these accusations.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
In the meantime, any advice is helpful, especially for my mother who is obviously feeling very hurt by these accusations. I also worry about her because he becomes angry with her easily.
In general, it is considered best to go along with delusions and not to argue about them, but obviously going along with this one is not going to help anything! Still, try not to be argumentative but rather reassuring and comforting.
"Oh, sweetie, how awful you must feel to think I (or mother) would do such a thing after all we have been through together. That must make you feel hurt and betrayed and angry. I don't know how that idea came to you, but I assure you I love you very much. I will never abandon you. I don't have any boyfriends. You are the one I've always loved." Etc.
It may be of some comfort to Mother to know she is not alone, and to know that it is definitely the dementia that is causing these accusations.