I'm the HC and Durable POA for a friend with no living relatives. Her dementia (diagnosed at least 3 years ago) has progressed to the point that her violent outbursts make it unsafe for her to live alone in her home. Attempts at getting her live-in help have failed (she's mean, belligerent and doesn't admit she has problems), and she still has access to a car! It's just a matter of time before she harms herself or others. Just last week, we had to call the Sheriff to get EMS to pick her up because she was having one of her tantrums against the caregiver and no one could calm her down. She spent 5 days at the behavioral unit at our local hospital, with everyone in agreement (social workers at the hospital, the head of our county DMH who knows the history, DSS, etc.) that this would be the perfect opportunity to finally place her somewhere. But the young doctor assigned for the final assessment, didn't agree, because she has an uncanny ability to become "perfect" for those she knows will benefit her most. So he released her! Was about to send her home in a cab last Friday, to no one to even check on her, because I was out of town and so was her other caregiver (unexpected funeral). I had to beg them to keep her until I got back and could make sure she was safe.
I picked her up on Monday, and she's had a series of violent, destructive outbursts since, and even though I have a HC POA that gives me the right to choose where she lives, I'm being told that I can't exercise it (because she won't go willingly for sure), without a doctor's letter stating her incompetence to make such decisions. Her doctor wrote us a note years ago indicating she did not possess the capacity to deal with her financial and legal affairs, but now even with pages and pages of photographs and written documentation of the various meltdowns and their aftermath, including an accidentally obtained video when she attacked her security monitor and set it to record on baby monitor mode, showing her as literally a wild animal, beating on the TV with her fists and head, stomping on the cable box, shattering a TV remote, and just in general going wild, the doctor is telling me she won't write the letter that's required for me to have a facility do an evaluation and take her in involuntarily if they agree. I've honestly never experienced such CYA in my life, and am so disgusted with the medical industry! It's no wonder so many people are killed by the mentally ill. My friend's problems may be exacerbated by her dementia, but it's my opinion, she's been mentally ill (and an alcoholic) for years prior, and now we have a triple whammy.
So the advice of "if you have a valid HC POA" is BS. Even that can't get you the help you need to protect them from themselves.
Any ideas? I'm in SC, by the way.