Is it possible for my father to admit my mother to a nursing home against her will?

The toll of caring for a family member with dementia is great and it is made more difficult when the family member does not recognize they have a problem. It is really important for your mother to receive care as her symptoms suggest that she may have treatable symptoms such as the tremors. She cannot be placed in a facility against her will unless there is a determination of competency. She would benefit from an evaluation by a specialist in dementia care such as a cognitive neurologist. There are a variety of types of dementia. My mother has a combination of Alzheimers, vascular and Lewy body dementia. She also does not think she has a problem and has no short term memory. We provided care for 5 years until she no longer recognized her own home (or us)and was moved to a memory care unit after a hospitalization. Some medication for her dementia and behaviors have allowed her to sleep better. I can tell you that eventually if she continues on the path without care there will be an emergency-but I would highly suggest taking her to the doctor- even if under the ruse of having your dad seen. If her memory is short - don't ask just take.
It is important to understand that with dementia, some people are truly unaware of her behavior or lack of memory. As well as trying to help your father, I would encourage you to seek information and support from the Alzheimers Association as well as the Area Agency on Aging. Arranging for respite for your dad may be a help in the short term.

When you say your mother has been diagnosed with dementia: who by, and how did that come about?

Your father certainly can go back to that person; and, assuming that the diagnosis was given by a relevant professional, this should be a good source of advice about where to go next.

Even if your mother is not legally over the threshold for decisions to be made by others in her best interests just yet, at some point she will be; and at that point yes your father will be able to force the issue of medical care and admission to the right facility for her. It can be a long road, but at least there is a road!

So that's where I'd start, with the person who made the original diagnosis. When was that done, by the way, and what led up to your mother's being examined and diagnosed?

Okay, so you get in touch with Neurologist 1, from way back in 2017, explain the situation, and seek advice on possible next steps. It will be helpful if you can prompt N1's memory with any correspondence, emails, images and so on from that time; otherwise you'll just get "oh I'll need to see her."

You'll probably hear "oh I'll need to see her" anyway, but then your next question is "yes, but how?" And then at least N1 will have the earlier findings to look at as a guide.

I'm surprised the GP has left it this long. Has your mother successfully dodged even her GP for two years?

Yes - my mom has successfully gone around her GP. The GP even told my dad at the "outside meeting" - that she had done a very good job of hiding what is going on with her.

I’m POA of my mom and I after my health failed had to place her in Assisted living. She wasn’t happy and said she’d never thought I’d do this but I had no choices. We tried home health aides and they seemed more interested in being on their cell phones after work completed and still had time before to leave. Mom said get rid of them. Put I did what I had to do guilt and all. So yes you could but I contacted in my state an Elder Attorney for a free consultation before I made my decision.

Hello. My husband and I have been in your shoes, dealing with my mom with Alzheimer's, who lived with us for 5 years. 
I even wrote a book about our travails: "My Mother Has Alzheimer's and My Dog Has Tapeworms: A Caregiver's Tale."
She, too, could be unreasonable and mean, even though I know she didn't mean to be mean. That's what Alzheimer's can do.  I'd discuss Assisted Living  options with a lawyer in your state. (I'd tell friends my "state" was  often a state of frustration.) My mom, too, didn't admit to anything being wrong. She tried Assisted Living, but it just wasn't for her, so we took care of her, but I know that's not always possible. I agree with others who have posted here: your local Council on Aging and/or the Alzheimer's Association can be very helpful. Perhaps volunteers can come and sit with your mom, to give your dad a break, (before he reaches his breaking point). Best of luck.

It sounds as though your mother is very afraid of what *might* be wrong with her.

She is 180º out about the "nothing" they can do about it.

What did the neurologist report in Dec 2017? - just that he wanted to see her again, or did he specify anything to be investigated further?

Tremors make one think "Parkinson's" automatically, but we are not medically qualified and there could be any number of causes.

Who referred your mother for the second neurology appointment that she wouldn't attend?

There are many people on this forum with family members with dementia. I don’t have any experience with it.

You will receive responses soon. I feel badly for your family. I’m sorry you are going through this pain.

Have you spoken to her physician? Have you spoken to your dad about possibly placing her? Would he go along with it? I would encourage him to do so if he objects. Is he crying out for help? Is he getting any relief from your mom?

I wish your family well during this difficult and challenging time. Hugs!

My mother has "tremors" that she has been experiencing for years. My dad was able to convenience her to see a neurologist because of the tremors......but really we/he suspected dementia. That was in December 2017. Still no known diagnosis on the tremors because she allows no one to go back to see the doctor with her.

She was recently referred to a neurologist (don't know if it was the same) again for further testing. She refused to go. Said there was nothing wrong with her, and even if there is, there is nothing they can do about it.

If a person is deemed a danger to themselves or others (from a safety standpoint), they can be admitted to a nursing home against their will.