My wife’s father has been diagnosed with dementia and is a barely functioning alcoholic. His flat is squalid and he is not properly looking after himself. He increasingly is becoming a liability to himself and others in the house (split into 4 separate flats) that he lives in. He drinks about a bottle of brandy a night and is going to bed loving food cooking and at risk of causing a fire. He has only just been diagnosed with dementia so is in the early stages of it. He is in complete denial about the dementia and the alcoholism.
How do we get him into a care home given the alcoholism? He has a limited amount of savings and some pensions.
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/links-between-alcohol-and-dementia
So sorry your FIL is going through this and putting you and wife through it at the same time. Hopefully he will get it through his head that he needs help and detox BEFORE something dreadful happens.
WIshing you the best of luck
I have never heard an alcoholic admitting to having a problem.
I'm not a doctor but I wonder if the alcohol isn't contributing to the dementia as it numbs the mind.
My oldest deceased brother needed lots of care and was a drug addict. I was extremely concerned about his treatment.
My brother’s nurse assured me that many people who are alcoholics and drug addicts who need medical treatment will be treated accordingly.
They will know what to do. They will not allow them to suddenly withdraw from drugs or alcohol because that would put them in a dangerous situation.
Best wishes to you and your family.
My father is a life long alcoholic, plus has Type 2 diabetes and was just placed in a nursing home against his will. He was not caring for himself, refusing care and not taking medications. I live in NJ and he’s in Puerto Rico. The hardest part is he wants me to get him out of there. He thinks he can live on his own. It breaks my heart. I think he would be happy if he was allowed to have 2 beers. I will be looking into that. It has been 20 years of dealing with his drinking and trying to keep him safe. He used to spend his social security check in two days and sleep on the streets before we got involved and had someone handling his money. At the time he was way too young and disruptive to be in a NH. He just turned 71, fell and hurt his hip, and the SW stepped in.
Wishing you the best with your FIL. It is a difficult situation.
Yes, it is hard on us when they beg and plead to have us "rescue" them and get them out, but try to find ways to distract him, change the subject, or just place the blame on others. Saying something like "I'd love to help you dad, but until the doctors say it is okay, you need to stay. Let's wait for you to get better and see what the doctors say!" might help. You know it isn't true, but it at the least gives him a little hope, something to work for, but meanwhile you know he is safe and cared for.
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