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My wife’s father has been diagnosed with dementia and is a barely functioning alcoholic. His flat is squalid and he is not properly looking after himself. He increasingly is becoming a liability to himself and others in the house (split into 4 separate flats) that he lives in. He drinks about a bottle of brandy a night and is going to bed loving food cooking and at risk of causing a fire. He has only just been diagnosed with dementia so is in the early stages of it. He is in complete denial about the dementia and the alcoholism.
How do we get him into a care home given the alcoholism? He has a limited amount of savings and some pensions.

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He may have more than one type of dementia, Alzheimers and Alcohol related dementia(ARD). He also may have several vitamin deficiencies related to alcohol and poor nutrition. A blood test could confirm vitamin especially vitamin B and thiamine. When we had alcoholics in the ER we would administer to them a "banana bag" IV. It's called banana because the fluid turns yellow when the vitamins are added. ARD is widely recognized but usually not diagnosed due to lack of specific diagnostic criteria. Either way a person with dementia or ETOH will be unable to recognize it in themselves, and are usually not open to discussion of their status. You may want to contact your local area agency on aging if you are in the U.S. or social services they deal with these cases all the time. He would need some time to Detox and regain a bit of health before any care home will evaluate him. Good luck
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Alcohol related dementia is on the RISE big time, unfortunately, due to how many people binge drink and drink to excess on a daily basis. I work in a Memory Care community in the USA & there are several residents who live here with Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome & alcoholic brain damage. Here is a link to an interesting article on the subject:

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/links-between-alcohol-and-dementia

So sorry your FIL is going through this and putting you and wife through it at the same time. Hopefully he will get it through his head that he needs help and detox BEFORE something dreadful happens.

WIshing you the best of luck
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I don't know how it is in the UK but here in California I was able to find an excellent "locked" memory care facility for my dad that did allow him to have 2 beers a day on his doctor's ok (which we had). I also toured others that said he could not be alcoholic and live there. It is a long story but dad went from driving and getting a 12 pack a day to only 2-3 after a car accident. Being unable to drive (due to me telling him his license had been taken and his truck being totalled) he was at the mercy of others to bring him beer. I went to friends and neighbors and said his doctor said only 2 beers a day otherwise it could promote stroke (which he had been having TIA's for years). Some complied others didn't. Now he has had 2 more strokes in 1 week (prior to Christmas) and he isn't even asking for beer. The facility gave it to him if he asked. So that is his story. I hope it helps you in some way.
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In the NH, they will "dry" him out. They may insist he go to a facility to dry him out first.

I have never heard an alcoholic admitting to having a problem.

I'm not a doctor but I wonder if the alcohol isn't contributing to the dementia as it numbs the mind.
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Geeeez, what a difficult situation. So sorry that you are going through this. Can you. Contact his doctor or social worker and see how this is handled?

My oldest deceased brother needed lots of care and was a drug addict. I was extremely concerned about his treatment.

My brother’s nurse assured me that many people who are alcoholics and drug addicts who need medical treatment will be treated accordingly.

They will know what to do. They will not allow them to suddenly withdraw from drugs or alcohol because that would put them in a dangerous situation.

Best wishes to you and your family.
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Seems he needs inpatient alcohol rehab more than facility for rehab at this time. He will have to agree or it may have to be court ordered.
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If you have the names of care homes you are considering, call them and describe the situation, finances, the drinking, all of it. They'll tell you exactly what you need to know. And if they can't help, I'm sure they'll be able to put you in touch with agencies and services that can. Good luck to you.
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Just found this site and looking for answers myself.

My father is a life long alcoholic, plus has Type 2 diabetes and was just placed in a nursing home against his will. He was not caring for himself, refusing care and not taking medications. I live in NJ and he’s in Puerto Rico. The hardest part is he wants me to get him out of there. He thinks he can live on his own. It breaks my heart. I think he would be happy if he was allowed to have 2 beers. I will be looking into that. It has been 20 years of dealing with his drinking and trying to keep him safe. He used to spend his social security check in two days and sleep on the streets before we got involved and had someone handling his money. At the time he was way too young and disruptive to be in a NH. He just turned 71, fell and hurt his hip, and the SW stepped in.

Wishing you the best with your FIL. It is a difficult situation.
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disgustedtoo Jan 7, 2020
Given that he already has had problems with alcohol, much as it might seem to be kind, please don't pursue the beers. More than likely it would be denied anyway, but once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. One can be an alcoholic even after the drinking has stopped. Once you cave to one or two, he will be wanting more!

Yes, it is hard on us when they beg and plead to have us "rescue" them and get them out, but try to find ways to distract him, change the subject, or just place the blame on others. Saying something like "I'd love to help you dad, but until the doctors say it is okay, you need to stay. Let's wait for you to get better and see what the doctors say!" might help. You know it isn't true, but it at the least gives him a little hope, something to work for, but meanwhile you know he is safe and cared for.
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if you feel he is a danger to himself and others you can call 911 and get him Baker Acted for psychiatric evaluation and competency hearing
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Evan, are you in the UK? The process is a bit different there than in the US, but I'd start with the doctor who diagnosed his dementia.
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