Getting an alcoholic with dementia into a care home?

Geeeez, what a difficult situation. So sorry that you are going through this. Can you. Contact his doctor or social worker and see how this is handled?

My oldest deceased brother needed lots of care and was a drug addict. I was extremely concerned about his treatment.

My brother’s nurse assured me that many people who are alcoholics and drug addicts who need medical treatment will be treated accordingly.

They will know what to do. They will not allow them to suddenly withdraw from drugs or alcohol because that would put them in a dangerous situation.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Evan, are you in the UK? The process is a bit different there than in the US, but I'd start with the doctor who diagnosed his dementia.

He will not be able to enter any facility without a withdrawal from alcohol done by rehab first. So this kind of means hospital to withdraw, or facility recommended after hospitalization. Anything else is dangerous. The savings and pensions being limited poses as much a problem as the alcoholism, and alcoholism doesn't stop in care. They go to listerine delivered, whatever they have to. I have stories you wouldn't believe. You may be stuck with life taking its course. Eventually there will be a problem that will land him in care. There's no good answer to this one, I am afraid.

If u are from the UK we have a member who lives there. She may chime in later when she is up. Most of us live in the States and our healthcare is much different here.

Alcohol related dementia is on the RISE big time, unfortunately, due to how many people binge drink and drink to excess on a daily basis. I work in a Memory Care community in the USA & there are several residents who live here with Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome & alcoholic brain damage. Here is a link to an interesting article on the subject:

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/links-between-alcohol-and-dementia

So sorry your FIL is going through this and putting you and wife through it at the same time. Hopefully he will get it through his head that he needs help and detox BEFORE something dreadful happens.

WIshing you the best of luck

I don't know how it is in the UK but here in California I was able to find an excellent "locked" memory care facility for my dad that did allow him to have 2 beers a day on his doctor's ok (which we had). I also toured others that said he could not be alcoholic and live there. It is a long story but dad went from driving and getting a 12 pack a day to only 2-3 after a car accident. Being unable to drive (due to me telling him his license had been taken and his truck being totalled) he was at the mercy of others to bring him beer. I went to friends and neighbors and said his doctor said only 2 beers a day otherwise it could promote stroke (which he had been having TIA's for years). Some complied others didn't. Now he has had 2 more strokes in 1 week (prior to Christmas) and he isn't even asking for beer. The facility gave it to him if he asked. So that is his story. I hope it helps you in some way.

Just found this site and looking for answers myself.

My father is a life long alcoholic, plus has Type 2 diabetes and was just placed in a nursing home against his will. He was not caring for himself, refusing care and not taking medications. I live in NJ and he’s in Puerto Rico. The hardest part is he wants me to get him out of there. He thinks he can live on his own. It breaks my heart. I think he would be happy if he was allowed to have 2 beers. I will be looking into that. It has been 20 years of dealing with his drinking and trying to keep him safe. He used to spend his social security check in two days and sleep on the streets before we got involved and had someone handling his money. At the time he was way too young and disruptive to be in a NH. He just turned 71, fell and hurt his hip, and the SW stepped in.

Wishing you the best with your FIL. It is a difficult situation.

He may have more than one type of dementia, Alzheimers and Alcohol related dementia(ARD). He also may have several vitamin deficiencies related to alcohol and poor nutrition. A blood test could confirm vitamin especially vitamin B and thiamine. When we had alcoholics in the ER we would administer to them a "banana bag" IV. It's called banana because the fluid turns yellow when the vitamins are added. ARD is widely recognized but usually not diagnosed due to lack of specific diagnostic criteria. Either way a person with dementia or ETOH will be unable to recognize it in themselves, and are usually not open to discussion of their status. You may want to contact your local area agency on aging if you are in the U.S. or social services they deal with these cases all the time. He would need some time to Detox and regain a bit of health before any care home will evaluate him. Good luck

if you feel he is a danger to himself and others you can call 911 and get him Baker Acted for psychiatric evaluation and competency hearing

In the NH, they will "dry" him out. They may insist he go to a facility to dry him out first.

I have never heard an alcoholic admitting to having a problem.

I'm not a doctor but I wonder if the alcohol isn't contributing to the dementia as it numbs the mind.

Seems he needs inpatient alcohol rehab more than facility for rehab at this time. He will have to agree or it may have to be court ordered.

If you have the names of care homes you are considering, call them and describe the situation, finances, the drinking, all of it. They'll tell you exactly what you need to know. And if they can't help, I'm sure they'll be able to put you in touch with agencies and services that can. Good luck to you.

Enlist the help of the doctor and/or social services. Assumption is you/he are in the UK? Hopefully one of our UK members can provide some more assistance. How one treats/moves someone is very different in the UK vs the US.

He is an elder with self-neglect/abuse and needs an assessment. As others have noted, more than likely he would need to be "dried out" first, before he could be moved to a care home. IF you can get him into alcohol rehab, do NOT let them convince you he would be okay going home. He would need to be moved to the care home after the treatment for alcoholism is done.

I'm so sorry to hear about your father in law. My mother also became an alcoholic in the early stages of dementia/Alzheimers. I tried monitoring her drinking by giving her a particular amount every day but that didn't work as she would hide alcohol in the house or with friends.
My mum would end up in hospital due to falls when she was intoxicated, the social workers would suggest intervention but everytime I would take her home after her promising me she wouldn't drink and let me monitor the drinking but it became a vicious cycle of lying, aggression, falls, hospital stays, until I became so broken and exhausted having to deal with not just the dementia but alcoholism that the last hospital visit was when the doctors and social workers said.. its time to hand over the care and put her into full time care.
My mum is now in residential care, it was very hard at first but she is so happy now and so well cared for.
I'm not sure how the system works where you live as far as pension and care home?
I just hope this has helped you a little knowing you are not alone in your struggle, there are many of us out there dealing with alcoholism and dementia.
God bless you in your journey as caregivers
D

First he will have to go to rehab for the alcoholism.

In August I was at the end of my rope with an alcoholic brother that had weaseled himself into moms house. Dementia, seizures & alcoholic, I was cleaning up his diarrhea accidents & moms & that was last straw. I took him to emergency under false pretense & told them he was a danger to himself & self neglecting. Nobody was rushing to admit but after 5 hours waiting he had a seizure & that sped things up. He was admitted & thanks to things I learned here I consistently refused to accept him back home. Told them they needed to find a safe discharge. They sent him to an unlocked SNF he tried escaping daily, they wanted me to take him home. I refused, & they sent him to psychiatric facility, that place also called me to discuss discharge & I gave input into locked memory care but home not possible. Honestly I thought it would be a revolving door & he would be on my doorstep & I would have to do this over again a few times. Surprisingly he has not been back since that August day. He’s had behavior issues & been sent to psych hospital 3 times & this is his 3rd memory care placement but they transfer him themselves. I do visit him weekly & attend care meetings, but that’s just to make sure they aren’t thinking of letting him out. He’s not happy most days but some days are decent. He’s safe & cared for & not drinking. Just my experience.