So basically my mother is mentally competent, become physically less able, and emotionally overwhelmed. I think depressed and anxious, Ive offerred a counseller but she declines. She has unmanaged diabetes because she just wants to chain smoke, eat bad foods etc. Which has very negatively effected her health. Her GP believes she has cancer and in denial about all her health issues. The Specialist believes ger downturn in health is due to unmanaged diabetes. Tests were organised. I also organised a social group service for her to boost her morale, a medical transport service for her as many if her appointments are during school pick up and drop offs times, or it's clashed with my children's appointments. All of these appointments, she either told me she had booked and was going but actually didn't make, or I made them for her and she cancelled and told the medical staff not to discuss it with me (when she had previously put me down as a point if contact).
Thankfully the hospital rebooked everything super quick, and I have been able to take her to various appointments and stay with her during these because its school holidays.
During this time, she is struggling to walk sometimes, I have to lift her in and out my car. But she is also chain smoking, not sleeping during the night, not on any insulin etc (I've sent the form away for her but yet to hear anything) and eating so much junk food and fruits!!!! Physically her ability has declined. So I either order groceries to be delivered or go pick things up for her.
This is my problem. She requests I buy her cakes, sweet stuff and cigarettes. If suggest no and try to discourage it, she gets angry, yells and cries.
I have been doing this because I don't think it's right to take control of her life. Her choices must still be hers even tho I don't agree with them. Yet, its me who has to physically buy these things for her as she cannot do or afford it herself. So I also feel like I'm enabling unhealthy behaviour and hurting her. It's doing my head in. How much control do you take from a older parent, who is struggling emotionally, who's physical health is rapidly declining because of the unhealthy decisions they are making which is hugely fuelled by their emotional state?????
If mum had her own physical devices, she would get them anyway.
I feel like I'm wrong if I do and also wrong if I don't. What are people experiences and perceptions please?