Mom has DPOA with me and brother named "co-agents" - its "and" not "either/or"; nor naming one as primary, etc. Mom has been declared by doctors incompetent (finally!) with dementia and now must move from home (living in unsafe conditions per APS) and into memory care.
We found memory care bed (nice place) for mom. I went to bank for them to honor DPOA with dr. note. My brother lives in CA (retired); I live in NC. My brother agreed to go to his local Wells Fargo and I would go to my local Wells Fargo and simoultaneously we would all meet with Wells Fargo bankers with our IDs and sign off such that my brother and I could be added to Moms account so we can pay bills, residential care, etc. (We are already named on account as beneficiaries - so mom's intent was that we should handle her affairs).
Wells Fargo legal dept reviewed and stated that the DPOA is worthless, they won't accept unless my brother and I are in the same place (physical present!) at the same time for every transaction. The bank mgr was flabbergasted; I'm devastated.
We have been praying, hoping to get mom into needed residential care for 5 yrs. She would never add me or brother to her "checking" because she kept insisting that we had DPOA and/or she would do so when she needed.
Well here we are. APS has been working with me for a year and trying to avoid conservatorship and guardianship (because can take a long time) and since we had DPOA (which APS reviewed) hoped to avoid guardianship.
I'm at a loss. Any advice? I don't want to drag out. I don't want conservatorship nor guardianship and neither does brother. At this point we are ready to just throw in the towel and tell APS to do whatever but leave the both of us out.
It is a shame, because she and my dad thought and intended that estate be all buttoned up such that care would be available for either of them and we wouldn't have to go to court or probate in the end. (Dad is deceased).
Mom's attorney (when drew up docs, multi times I might add over the last 8 yrs) was very aware that both my brother and I lived on different coasts and would never be in the same city as mom. I feel like he mislead mom on advising her.
Any advice on where to go from here that won't cost thousands and take weeks or longer?