So, my Brother flew up from Florida to stay with me and dad for a week. He's been recently diagnosed with dementia and I've taken a LOA from my work in Florida and moved to Michigan to stay with dad and try to figure out a plan as to whether I'm staying here or bringing dad back to Florida with me. I am his POA as well. So since I've been here (late April) I've used up my PTO from work. Dad fully understands that I'm not making any money and is willing to and we have agreed, for him to pay me $500/week for 24 hr. care. I've been working on getting my POA in place and its been insinuated that I not use Dad's money to pay for my bills. That's when I got with an attorney and had a "caregiver" contract drawn up. I also had to have the POA rewritten because his orig was done up as a "springing" and the banks didn't like that, so we did a "general" POA. Thursday brother flies in, me, dad and brother meet with the lawyer to sign the new POA/CAREGIVER papers. And everything went to SH*T. (sorry). Brother ended up getting added to the POA and refused to sign the CG papers. Says that it'll use up all of dads $$ (of which he has plenty) and instead, dad can come to Florida to live with him, and he won't have to pay. oh and being that my brother/sister-in-law are semi retired and in early 70's, when he works she will care for him. And I can go back to work, as if nothing happened, and I can visit dad anytime, he would only be 3 hrs away.
First....I am the one dad chose for his POA, what he did I felt was dirt sneaky, using dad's memory loss as an advantage. So now it reads me "or" him.
second...I've been the main caregiver and know all about dad more so and he's more comfortable with ME.
THIRD...if dad doesn't want to go to Florida, I may have to stay in Mich with him for the winter (not crazy about that). Brother insists he go...good luck!
and lastly.....I feel I've been blindsided...the current plan is to drive dad back to Florida with me, I get him settled and familiar and maybe into the senior center, I go back to work, possible part time and he's with me primarily. Dad can visit brother, which gives me a break, but not the plan he's thinking.
so...the caregiver contract, he's not agreeing with, doesn't want to sign it, and says he has to think about it. I explained to him that I did this so that I'm not accused of taking dads $$ and paying my bills with it, and we all know what I'm getting, nothing more. It's just a security for me, and its for our own records. If he flat out says he's not agreeing, can he prohibit dad from paying me? Dad and I agreed on this a month ago (when he was more competent), it's not a lot, and dad can afford it.
He's concerned, I get it, but it's dad's money to take care of dad. he gets $4000 a month, total bills for the year are 17000.00. That's it! No Debt whats so ever, everything is paid off, house/car....so...I say, it doesn't matter, dad and I will continue to do as we've been doing, he pays me weekly, I care for him, and hopefully next month we will be heading south, if not, then I continue my personal leave from work, possibly quitting, and stay with dad thru the winter. I have nothing really holding me in Florida, not in a relationship, kids married and moved away, I am the one that has always come to visit dad every year, and when he's been hospitalized, not my brother. It's always been ME, never him(or my other brother), I'm the youngest, and I know that dad chose me because of that, and I'm more responsible and definitely more dependable. Any suggestions???