I clean daily Mon-fri. Used to wash dishes but he bought his wife a dishwasher. She is supposed to load daily and unload once it's done. That is a battle. Her husband is an amputee and has incontinance issues. She is supposed to wipe him down because he is unable to get in shower from wheelchair due to difficult wound on nub. Which I have to remind her to do daily. I help go grocery shopping. Wash the car. I do 2 supercleans a month all I ask is that she takes care of her husband and cleans up after herself. Its a constant battle and I'm getting so frustrated. They always want me to hangout and chat when I'm done I'm just so aggravated that I'm ready to go home. They are both mentally capable of understanding and want their freedom but I feel as if I'm taking care of adult children. I'm at my wits end. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Please and Thank you

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Tammyrex, your story reminds me of the same kind of questions that I used to have regarding my LO. I was perplexed, annoyed and confused as to why she was not doing some things in her home that she had done before and was capable of doing. I couldn't figure it out. I did research, I talked to health care professionals, ask others' opinions, etc. It wasn't until later down the road, that it became apparent that she was suffering from cognitive decline. This later progressed to dementia.

I wish I had known then why she was not taking care of things in her home. But, she wasn't very old and would have passed a mini evaluation in a doctor's office. But, it was the early stages. Still, it was preventing her from doing things for herself and for her home. I thought she understood what we discussed in conversations. She would say she did, nod, promise, etc., but ,she was not able to follow through.

I'm not sure that is the case with your friend, but, I would consider it. The thing is that reminding someone who has that condition to do something, doesn't help. Because, they can forget about it from the time they hang up the phone, until they walk into another room. Plus, they may actually believe that they did it, when in reality they haven't. I'd look into this and see if there are any other symptoms of what might be going on. I know how frustrating it is. I'd just keep in mind that there may be a medical explanation and that's it's not her fault.

Strokes can cause this type of Vascular Dementia. If she sees her doctor, is there someone who can report what you are seeing in her?
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She had a stroke 3 years ago. Walks fairly well but has partial use of left arm but full use of right. She understands clearly what I say. My job is to do the things she can't. I take out garbage sweep the floor clean litterboxes. Wipe countertops, stove microwave. Make the bed daily. Every other day I clean the bathroom and mop. I push her husband up the ramp in the morning and bring him down nightly Mon-Sun. That she cannot do. They have 4 very large cats that is why I do 2 supercleans a month because the cat hair gets out of control.
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JoAnn29 Aug 2018
Understand the cat thing, I had two. I see your delemia.
I looked back on your first post. If the wife had a stroke, you may be expecting more than she can give. Is she just ignoring what you say or does she not understand. What duties are u being paid to do?
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I think you have taken on more than you can handle. If she can't do for her husband then she is going to have to hire someone. Clean every day. Its just me and my husband and I don 't clean every day. Yes, I straighten up. Keep up with the dishes. Wipe down bath once a week, good clean once a month. You do a two supercleans a month! What do you have to clean that well for two people? I only clean what is actually lived in. Anything else, like guest rooms, get a quick wipe and a good clean before company. You do too much. You don't need to spend your days doing for these people. Cut back and tell them why,
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