Some time ago a poster suggested using a worry stone to help handle stressful situations. I have a lovely little glass heart and today I started carrying it in my pocket. I am convinced it helped me hold my tongue and my temper with my mother a few times. So I bumped up the idea for anyone else who is at the end of their rope. (There's a lot of stuff on the internet about worry stones. For me, it's simply something I can hold onto and squeeze the hell out of while I gather my wits.)
I live with my mother, who has advancing dementia and the most unreal, surreal, completely out of nowhere delusions and hallucinations. I could never in my wildest dreams have imagined the things she comes up with. And, of course, they are all horrible. In answer to similar questions about how to handle this, many posters have offered suggestions like check for UTI, get her on medication, redirect her and so on. None of these things work. Believe me, I've tried them all. It also doesn't work to disagree with her. I know this, but I can't stop myself and I lose my $#!+ way too often. So now I'm trying the worry stone to give me that moment to take a breath and calm myself down when things go completely off the rails.
I would love to hear from anyone who is dealing with a combative, impossible to redirect LO who is having hallucinations and delusions that go so far beyond the garden variety "somebody stole my purse" that they might as well be from Planet Xenon. In the meantime, I am carrying my worry stone with me at all times.