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It's getting closer almost that I lost my mother at the end of 2018 and all the feelings are coming back just like the day when I lost her and it's still hard for me. It still not easy I miss her so much.

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I am doing grief counseling but not helping that maybe also it almost one year so all memories and feeling are coming back.
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Lots of love I am sorry for your loss
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My mama died July 15,2018...she had Alzheimers. Sh went into the hospital for a uti and she started going into resp distress, I am a RN Supervisor at the hospital she passed away in, the last thing she said to me was ” Beth I feel the only way I am going home is in a box” she was right,,, I had her taken off bipap and made her hospice. I sat with her 3 days while she died,,, my heart was so broken and I was in shock,, I couldn't believe she was dying...while she was dying it so stressful to me had a stroke in my cerebellum, ,, I am a stroke certified RN , and I just thought I was tired and grieving , I loved my mom so much she was my best friend..i am still crying for her and missing her,, I loved her so much,, my sister died suddenly 5 years earlier so it is just me and my niece and nephew ( my sister’s kids ) with me while she died,,, the day she died my niece just left to get a shower and come back,,, mom died right after she left...my heart broke I was happy to be alone with her and hug and kiss her and tell her I love her and thank her for being a wonderful mother,,, oh I was so blessed to have this dear lady as my mama,, there are no words to describe how much I loved her,, I still have her room the same, I gas away all her depends and her bed pads to the hospice..there was a lot to give , but her room is the same, ,, I miss her very much and cry for my 2 best friends mom and my sister who died at age 49 of a PE ..i talk to them all the time and tell them I love them,, I say a lot of prayers for them,,, and when it's my time I can't wait to see them,,, I am sorry for your loss and I send you all lots of love ❤️
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My mom would have been 93 today. She passed June 1, 2017. I am doing well, mom was so sick I was relieved she was finally released from her terrible disease. She would not have wanted to live the way she was. She was just a shell of the once very successful woman she was.

You will always miss her, try to find comfort in the release from her life and she is in a better place. Seek grief counseling.
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