We moved my parents to AL in June 2017. Mom had been deteriorating mentally & physically for about a year prior to this due to chronic health problems. Dad is frail, but, at 93 he's very sharp. Mom died in December 2018 after being in hospice for 2 weeks. They had been married for 68 years.
Dad has now been grieving since then as expected. I understand that he misses her terribly & that he will grieve in his own way, but he didn't even go to her graveside service because he couldn't take it. We set up counseling for him for several months. He discontinued it because it "wasn't doing any good". Also, the minister that conducts the Sunday services at the AL has befriended him & they chat frequently. My concern is that he is going to drive people away that are reaching out to him because of his negativity & difficulty talking about anything other than his loss. Every time he talks to my brother (who lives about 3 hours away) he tells him he's not doing well.
Dad won't get involved in any AL activities or play "childish games." Primarily stays in his room. My husband & I live in the same town as the AL & I see him at least once a week. We take him on outings occasionally.
I guess my frustration is that he doesn't seem to grasp that people die. I tried to prepare him for mom's eventual demise, but it didn't seem to help.
I could use some advice/support for how to handle this. I AM sympathetic, but I'm afraid this will go on & on. I would suggest antidepressants, but "I take so many pills already".