My brothers and I are having a difficult time dealing with our 78yr old mother. Our father died 17yrs ago and she still can't get past it. She HATES being alone. Yet, her family is second to her friends. What I mean by that is if she has something planned with her friends, we don't hear from her and if we call her to invite her to go somewhere she's very short with us and tells us she has other plans! But when she doesn't she plays the "depressed card" and wants us to cater to her. She has ALWAYS been this way but she is now going to extremes to get attention. She does this by calling us to take her to the emergency room when she feels a little sick (most recently she called my brother at 2:30am wanting him to take her because she had been vomited 7 times since 11pm. She had the flu! I wouldn't take my 7yr old son to the ER if he'd been vomiting all night. You drink Gatorade/fluids and if it doesn't pass in a day or 2, then maybe the ER). She has driven our oldest brother away and my youngest brother is now purposely not calling her and inviting out to dinner and now I'm on the fence ready to jump to the other side! I call her but there's really no conversation because all she talks about is either how she is feeling or what projects she wants done around her home (new cabinets in her kitchen because the one's she has are dark and she doesn't like them. Or a new bathroom.)
I recently found out that she manipulates my twin sister into staying with her the whole time that she comes back home to visit. A couple of years ago I invited my sister to come and stay with me for a night and her and I could have a "girls evening" of chatting! Hours before she was to come over she called and said that she was just going to stay with mom. I got my feelings hurt and decided that she only comes home to see mom. I just found out a few weeks ago it was because my mom made her feel guilty by telling her she'd be all alone! What mother keeps her kids from spending time together?
Then there's the issue of her having a lady that used to live across the road from her come over and help her with chores around the house and doing landscaping for her. This woman and her husband were living with the husbands mother. The mother had to put her home up for sale in order to get them out of her home! They wouldn't leave and were taking advantage of her. As soon as they moved out the mother took her home off of the market. This husband and wife are on disability and unemployment. And every time one of us kids shows up at my moms and they are there they slither away and disappear! It makes us feel like they are hiding something. We've tried to talk to our mom about them but she refuses to believe they are anything but good people.
My youngest brother and I are planning to go talk to her this weekend. But we know it won't end well because, in her mind, she justifies everything she does and she is ALWAYS right! We LOVE her because she's our mom but she's driving us away :-(.
If anyone has some advice I would love to hear it! I'm at my whits end.
Sorry this is so long.