My Mom is not eating or sleeping at night, refusing doctor appointments and cursing. What can I do? - AgingCare.com

My Mom is not eating or sleeping at night, refusing doctor appointments and cursing. What can I do?

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My mom is 87 she lives with my sister. This is not how my mom was with me. she yells and curs at my kids. she has a bladder infection and will not give us permit-ion to talk to the doctor about her medication. My older sister has taken control of my moms money, home and making the wrong decisions. No one has power or guardianship. What can I do, My sister calls me all the time. I told her to call 911, they would not take my mom because she was not upset when they got there. Is there any one who can hold my hand to list the each step to take to fix things.

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Hi Confused,
I can understand why you're confused. This is a very trying situation. It's too bad that no one has Power Of Attorney, but even then it can be hard to get anything done if the elder doesn't cooperate. You could call adult protective services at your county social services office.

If you think that your sister is abusing your mother financially or any other way, you can try to get help from an elder law attorney. Your State's Attorney's office may be able to get you someone who'd give you at least a free consultation.

If your mom has a bladder infection she needs medication and that bladder infection could be affecting how she acts. You'll need help to legally get her to do anything about it, though. I'd call your social services office first and ask for adult protective services. Tell them the problem and see if they can guide you.

Good luck,
Carol
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It sounds like she needs 24/7 care at a nursing home. No one can do it alone. Insist that your sister go with you to check out homes. In my family, my mother outlived my sister. Then, what?
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Check to see if the has a urinary track infection. Home testing kits are sold in pharmacies, I found my kit at Walgreens. also see if she has a vitamin d deficiency. If it is a urinary track infection try cranberry juice. I experienced similar situations with my mom. Trying these will not hurt and may help. it does't help that family members may not be cooperating. if there is a chemical imbalance or vitamins deficiency this can explain he behavior. I also found that Lipitor altered my mother's behavior, We stopped he pills and she returned to normal . You're in my prayers.
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I'm in agreement with Carol - Mom needs to see a doctor, and soon. A UTI will not be cured without medical help, unfortunately, and can really cause some major problems if the infection is allowed to go too long unchecked. She may be running a high fever due to the infection, which is bound to alter her behavior and mood, which may be the cause for how she is acting.

I would strongly suggest contacting Adult Protective Services and asking if they can help, or can at least point you in the right direction to get Mom the help she needs. This situation will not get better on its own.
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Definitely a doctor...possibly the Emergency room if you can't get into her doctor. Call them and ask the doctor what to do...don't wait. Sounds like a UTI could be effecting her mental state...important to act immediately.
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Get her to the ER asap! UTI's really mess up older people and is the first thing a doctor would treat. When my 89 year old MIL has one she acts like she has full blown dementia and antibiotics work fast to bring her back. If she is in ER social workers will get involved if you ask for them and they will step in and get you off the hook with your sister and get her the help she needs. This is urgent, act now before Mom gets any worse.
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UTI test kits are soldin drugstores.
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