His wife is 78 with dementia and cant take care of herself. We have aide service in the morning and early evening. They live about 45 minutes from all of us. How do we decide its time to sell the house and place them someplace else?

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I agree with Dolly's suggestions. Also, don't "spring" this on them all at once. It's a huge emotional and mental adjustment. Sit down with them for this discussion. Sometimes "doing the math" makes the case of the cost of the in-home care (which will eventually exceed that of a facility), and remember to add in the "sweat equity" from family members taking care of LO's home plus theirs; show them pics of AL communities that you took yourselves when you went on a tour; give them lots of assurances of ample help and their involvement in the decision-making process, etc. Good luck and let us know how it goes!
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Your post says it all-it's time.
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I would say now is a good time, they are no longer able to care for themselves without help, thus they are no longer independent.

AL today is not what it was 50 years ago. My mother is in AL and is very happy, she has 24/7 care, doesn't have to prepare food, joins in on the activities and has made many new friends. We have placed my step father & his wife in another AL, they have a great apartment 750 sq ft and every amenity that you could imagine.

Do what is right for them, don't wait until it becomes an emergency! Good Luck!
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