My dad retired from work 2 years ago and just sits at home doing nothing everyday. My parents had me somewhat late as he is 65 now and I'm still in high school. I have an older brother who attends a college and a mother who is a school teacher and is gone for most of the day. My dad has a few problems that he's had before he retired. These include, obesity (with type 2 diabetes) and high blood pressure. He also has some very bad mental issues, along the likes that he is very insecure, depressed, short tempered (curses a lot) immature (which is why he doesn't have any friends), always putting himself first (thinks he's superior to everyone) always starring at younger women/even girls my age (which always creeps me out), spends money he doesn't have and is very racist/not tolerant of other races/genders. Despite almost dying from a stroke in the past, he still eats unhealthy food while I'm at school and mom is at work. Even at home, he tries to secretly eat snacks in the three rooms he's taken over. The biggest problem I have is that he just sits at home and does nothing. If he's not eating, he's usually watching bias news, scrolling through twitter, checking his emails, or looking at more news online. My school doesn't have a bus that goes to my neighborhood, and I don't have my license, thus he has to take me to school. I also swim so he has to pick me up from swimming every other day. However everyday he complains that he does all this stuff for me and yet all I do is give him trouble. When in reality, I'm usually trying to recommend him something healthy to eat, be more tolerable about opposing opinions or go with a walk with me (for his health) etc. He complains about all the bills he has to pay despite always wasting food, water, electricity, blaming me that I'm useless financially for the family. He has become completely intolerable and short tempered when someone has an opposing view, and he always has to be right. When he first retired, he volunteered a little, but now he hates going outside the house and doesn't want to talk to anyone but family. Even though his talks are usually about how amazing he thinks he is, or about some news from a very bias source on how some "inferior colored people" did something. All these talks are very annoying as they occur while I'm studying etc, but his immaturity begs for attention. I understand he's done a lot for me growing up and feels he's superior, but he could at least try to listen to me and change his current miserable life. I feel like finding a hobby would be a good start, but I don't know what kind of hobby would work for someone overweight, short tempered, fixed minded, etc. Please help- as much as I don't like many things about my dad, he is my family, and I want to make his life better.

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I know that you think you are right about all the things you disagree with your father about. I agree with you, but your father doesn't. He isn't going to change you, you aren't going to change him. Stop the fight. Look after your mother.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to MargaretMcKen

I agree with Willie. Its not your problem. And, he isn't going to listen to you. Look up Narcissist and see if Dad fills the picture.

If Dad doesn't take care of himself then he is going to die. Diabetes needs to be controlled. It causes heart attacks. It effects other organs of the body too. Causes blindness. Bad circulation in the legs. Your Mom should be worried. My suggestion, to do well in school, go away to college or have somekind of training. Get independent and when u can, move out. If not ur going to end up being a caretaker.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

I'll give you the same advice I've given my nephew - it's not your problem to fix.

Focus on your own life and goals and stop trying to change your father, he has already demonstrated he is never going to take advice from his still dependent child. When he intrudes into your space or begins to rant about things you disagree with politely but firmly detach - sorry dad, I need to finish this, or dad, I won't listen when you spout racist nonsense - then stop talking (don't get drawn into an argument) and walk away. It's called setting boundaries and is a skill every young adult needs to master.
Helpful Answer (5)
Reply to cwillie

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