Dad has had incidents in memory care with other residents. What options are available?

I am one of two POAs responsible for a dearly loved relative who has always been severely anxious, and following a mistake in a blood pressure medication, became all but overwhelmed with anxiety.
Owing to insurmountable problems with housing, we placed her in a very nice AL, and her anxiety continued to escalate. A week ago, she was evaluated by a wonderfully compassionate geriatric psychiatrist, who recommended that a very small does of an antidepressant be added to the maximum does of another mood drug she was taking previously.
Although we realize that everything is temporary we have been thrilled to find her bright and alert but much more peaceful and satisfied with her surroundings. We would actually been satisfied even if we were only to calm her, but what has happened is actually much better. It was much worse for us when she was verbally harassing other residents because we knew how unlike her this behavior was before her fears and anxiety took control of her.
It is painfully difficult, but we must all do what we can to smooth things for our dear ones when they suffer this way.

The NH sent my dad to the ER because he was being aggressive and he hit an aide. The ER sent him to a geriatric psychiatric ward in another facility. He stayed there for two weeks while they adjusted his meds. He was like a zombie. It was heartbreaking really.

He is back at the NH now and he is quiet and pleasant and not yelling and screaming any more. Is he drugged up? Yes. But not in a 'zombie' stage anymore. Maybe he is getting used to the meds. It's so hard because you don't want him drugged up, but you don't want him to be combative and violent to the staff either.

I went to see him yesterday and he got mad about something (I tried to give him some apple juice!) and he got as mad as he could get (under these new drugs) He was shaking his fists and he was turning red in anger, but I thought to myself... boy.. if he wasn't on these new meds... he would've caused a big screaming, yelling, banging on the table scene. It's like the drugs blocked the rage.

I hate having him on these drugs... but what else is there to do? You feel so helpless.

the assisted living facility wrote a short letter for me to take to our doctor appt.
AL are familiar with that type of behavior. The letter just explained how my dad was acting, since they were around him even more than I was. If I remember they also asked for a possible prescription. that way I didn't have to try and convince dr.

dr did prescribe RX that did help my dad. I believe it was an anti-psychotic drug.
my dad MAY HAVE been worse, but he was so old and feeble/chair bound.

but he was still getting so angry.

You can arrange for him to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist to try to find a medication to bring him under control, he may even need a few weeks at a dedicated psychiatric facility. Don't think of this as drugging your dad into submission - these episodes are the result of fear and anger at a world that no longer makes sense to him, that's no way to live. Hopefully they can find a med or combination of them that will allow him to feel better in his own skin and improve his quality of life.

What kind of doctors have evaluated Dad?

One option that comes to mind is to place him in a psychiatric ward for a thorough evaluation of medications that may reduce his aggressiveness, without turning him into a zombie. Trying various drugs in a controlled environment will enable side-effects to be observed immediately.

Surely the memory care facility has had other residents who needed this. Can they provide some guidance?

Several people in my caregiver support group went through this with their loved ones, and were glad they did.

My mom's doctors gave her "memory pills" that helped her remember..but she was no threat to the household...if this person is causing or will cause threat to the home, then you need to left their doctor know and let him suggest to you, what to do.. :)