If anger is so common for Alzheimers/Dementia, why don't any other residents have outbursts?

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It seems like I NEVER see any of the other residents at Mom's Memory Care Home have anger or outbursts. She's been on and off raging, yelling, cursing now for a month and half, and we finally get to see the neurologist tomorrow. The Memory Care Home has been giving Mom Ativan as needed to help keep her rages to a dull roar, but I am hoping to have a better solution. The fine line is that we hope to manage the anger, but not dope her into a stupor. I don't want her to get kicked out. BUT if anger is so common, why don't I see the other residents (there are roughly 60 total) ever having an outburst. Are they all doped up? Grrr...frustrated.

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I would astonished if none of the other residents ever had these issues. Next time you're hanging around in the unit twiddling your thumbs while you wait to speak to the DoN or for your mother's clothes to be changed, see if you can catch the eye of fellow family members. Pound to a penny at least *some* of them feel exactly the same as you.

And, not to be cynical, but it could be that some of them aren't quite so punctilious about that fine line any more.

Remember those happy teenage years when you had a massive zit on your nose and you were sure the entire world was pointing and laughing? In reality, they were far more concerned about the spots on their own noses that you didn't even notice.
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Make sure your mom is tested for a UTI.
Perhaps you could also ask for a consult with a geriatric physiatrist to adjust her meds.
Come back and tell us what the neurologist has to say.
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So here is the update from the neurologist appointment: Mom's disease is progressing, she scored lower on one of the cognitive tests and showed that more areas in her brain are suffering the effects of the brain damage.

The Ativan has only been given six times, so the doped up state I have been seeing is most likely Mom's body adjusting to the increase in her other meds (the mood medicines were increased) and they changed the form from Depakote to Depakene, so another adjustment. Apparently Depakene is faster acting.

If the sedation affect doesn't even out, we are to consider lowering those mood medicine's a tiny bit, and if her anger and rage continue on or get worse, we can then try a different medicine called Seroquel. (at least we have options)

I notice a huge improvement in her mood and her mind function after her work out sessions at the gym, so I have added a 3rd one to her week. Unfortunately, she's beyond the whole reasoning thing it seems. I used to be able to reassure her that she worked out twice a week, and it would satisfy her somewhat, but now if the answer isn't an IMMEDIATE yes, work out is today, she kind of goes off the deep end.

We will see if added that 3rd work out helps overall or just helps in the moment.

I also spoke with the head nurse at her Memory Care home and asked if Mom was close to being given an ejection notice, and she laughed and said, not at all, they would let me know if their concerns started being that serious.

I guess it's good Mom hasn't actually hit anyone, and apparently the staff is fair game, other residents are not.

Other residents apparently do yell, got a story today from the staff: (and I find this humorous) One of the other residents was apparently yelling about having to use a walker (try getting someone with no short term memory to remember they now have to use a walker) and Mom came out of her room to tell that resident that they didn't have to yell about it, and apparently they both started yelling at each other.

I don't know how anyone can keep a straight face at that point. The whole scenario just tickles me. Of course, that's because I didn't have to calm anyone down, but still. Mom (who's been having yelling/screaming outbursts) telling someone else not to yell!
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Definitely have her seen by the geriatric psychiatrist. I know how you feel. I came to pick my mom up to take her out for the day at the nursing home. She told me that a woman had gotten arrested for killing a baby in her room! When I told her that couldn't possibly be true and even showed her that the lady in question was still in her room, she dismissed it. When i got to my mom's room, she had packed up everything and told me she didn't care where she went, but she wasn't staying there. I was at a loss. I couldn't take her out like that because I doubt she would willingly go back. She started screaming at me and her roomate, told me the nurse was having sex at night with the sides and then spit at me. The nurse told me to just leave and not worry about it. They are used to handling these things and that my mom was worse once I got there. I left, had the nurse speak to the phlsychiatirst and eventually her meds got straightened out and my mom settled down. There were a bunch of times where she smashed her rollator into the elevator or away from her and fell. She also accused her roommate of having her blood drawn in the middle of the night at a residents council meeting. You are definitely not alone.

The extra therapy is great. Try watching some Teepa Snow videos if you haven't already. She can help with how to handle when your mom gets mad it isn't therapy day.
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Not to make light of the situation, as I know how upsetting it is to see the decline with the awful outbursts. But I was accused of going # 2 in my mother's depends, while she was wearing them mind you, which happened before I even arrived that day. I was torn between a giggle and tears of sadness. Didn't show either expression though, that would have been like throwing gas into a fire.
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It is not unusual for people with dementia to have angry outbursts. I worked in memory care units for years ,both as a nurse ,and then as an activity coordinator. I think sometimes the dementia clients just get very frustrated, scared and confused by changes in themselves. Their dementia alters their perception of their environment and they often feel threatened by the strangeness of their world!
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JJ I HOPE I CAN DO THIS! I live in Canada while mom is in NJ and i am the only child and i can tell you right now I’m emotionally and mentally drained. I do understand the disowning because as soon as I don’t give my mom what she wants such as taking her home, I’m the most awful person and she should of never had kids, every name in the book & disowned to only get a call the next day with no recollection and the process starts again. I’m learning and reading up on how to deal with a person with dementia and that is to never tell them “they can’t or they are wrong” because I’m just asking for her to get nasty! My mom was always someone who got nasty when she didn’t get what she wanted and a very vocal person however with dementia it’s over the top! I hope they actually get her up to the Geri Psych if the hospital and things can get evened out
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Some of these comments remind me of a woman in my mother's nursing home. I've been told his woman, who is probably only about 50 y/o but is in a wheelchair, has some form of schizophrenia that makes her believe some person or monster is hiding under the furniture so she often yells "Die!" at random times, and makes strange and insulting comments, including racial slurs, to visitors, residents and staff. One day she said "You're ugly!" as I walked by, so I said "Thanks; that's the only compliment I've had all day!" A staff member told me this woman has a problem and I shouldn't be offended by her comments, so I answered that I've seen her there for 4 years so I know about her and don't take anything personally. She never attacks anyone physically, so all one can do is wait to hear how "creative" a comment she can come up with. I think most people simply ignore her.
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My wife, who is in an assisted living/memory care facility, has anger outbursts and will not listen to reason on some days, while she is easy going and happy on other days. I was thinking exactly as you, in that I saw no other resident ever having an outburst. I had intended to ask the nurses about this, but your post let me know I'm not the only one.
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About 3 weeks after my friends got into the memory care apartment I had found for them, the wife began resisting all personal care when she soiled herself. I was advised to take her to a geri-pscyh ward at a hospital to find an anti-psychotic drug that would calm her without doping her up. It took calls to 3 different hospitals before I found one with an opening. They knew just what to do to get her away from her husband and go upstairs to the ward. There, it took 3 1/2 weeks to find the right drug and dosage since the first drug didn't work well. After that, it was smooth sailing in terms of cooperation and mood, though her frontal temporal dementia was progressing rapidly as were her abilities to function. The geri-psych. doctor is the next best thing. I would think staff there would have a clue about whom to contact. This shouldn't be their 'first rodeo."
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