I came back from working away a few years ago and now I feel like I've become the unofficial or default care giver to my long term depressed mum who is on disability because I'm the only son. The rest of the family keep her at arms length. She was divorced 13 years ago & has no friends or nobody she sees often anyway. She is always wanting to see me!!! I could handle talking on the phone but all she does is drink and I am expected to sit in pubs for hours on end or go for a walk and then spend time with her. This is literally 5 or 6 days a week If I let it happen. I often have to do practical things for her because she is up and down and poor with time keeping or responsibilities like basic hygiene or home keeping. She will make plans and not stick to them then expect me to be free when she wants.
I'm so fed up as don't have a life of my own, I need space!!! & sometimes feel guilty because she is so lonely - I considered planning to move country or just escaping many time, I'm in my mid 30's and this is not what I wanted for my life. What can I do? I've spoken to her many times and got angry with her clinginess but she just doesn't get it.