Dad has dementia, COPD, pulmonary hypertension.Now seems to need overnight help since gets up at all hours and never know when he'll get up in the am. takes 2-3 hours to get his meds, hygience, dressing, oxygen on etc. daily. Mom has been main caregiver with kids help. This was too much for all of us but Mom refuses in-home help for house cleaning, cooking, Dad care. She has bad arthritis in one leg, has trouble sleeping, does not nap, recently had triple bypass, which belieive it or not, has been the least of her worries after the first month of recovery. She had refused and still refuses to have paid in-home help. Kids have been taking turns staying 1-3 days and overnite at a time and it is getting to be way too much.Kids cannot agree on exactly how much help is needed. Some say they can do OK for several hours in the afternoon w/o one of us - between meds, hygience and preparing meals.etc. Some are willing to try dropping one or two oevernites to see how it goes. Mom has even said she is OK, knows how to dial 911 or call one of the kids who live nearby. Two of us write down what days and times we can do each week and stick to it w/o a big discussion. Best we can do. Have asked doctor to write an order for in-home nursing care for Dad to monitor health issues, check vitals, help with meds. Can they do other care? He said he'd do it but havent heard from agency yet. Another issue: different kids take parents to doc appts. Tend to emphasize doc recs and comments differently according to their own slant. We write in a notebook but it's never enough for some of the kids. Want to see more and more specialists., Help?