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There is proof but only for one small purchase. There is strong assumption to many other purchases of theft but without formal investigation there is only speculation. This is in Mississippi.

I went through that last year. Only, she wasn’t purchasing items for my mother. She was withdrawing hundreds of dollars a week and pocketing it. I went to the police and filed a report. I identified her in the ATM surveillance video. Police came and arrested her at my mother’s senior residence. I didn’t pursue a lawsuit, because she now has a record and was forced to pay restitution. That was good enough for me.
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Reply to ClippedWings18
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Does your parent have dementia? If so then it would be your responsibility if you are POA (even if you're not, but you are thei child) to take away debit cards, credit cards, checkbooks, and any other source of income that the homecare workers may have access too. Or to make sure these things are secured so the homecare worker doesn't have access to them.

I was a homecare worker for many years. When clients and caregivers get along well the client may want to do them some small token favor. You did say it was a very small purchase. If it bothers you this much report it to their supervisor. Don't waste the time and resources of the police though.

Be warned though. If your parent has a good caregiver that they like and who works well for them, they may very well lose that person if you make a big fuss.

So here's what I suggest as not only a former homecare worker, but as a homecare business owner.

Talk directly to the caregiver in question yourself personally with your parent present before going to the agency supervisor or anyone else. Question her about the purchase and the possibility of others. Give her and your parent a chance to explain what's going on.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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If you have proof you need to notify the agency with your proof at once.

This theft should be reported to the police in your area and you can there make it clear that this small purchase was caught; there is suspicious activity you cannot prove on the card. And you will make it clear your reasons for reporting are that this person is working for elders who are perhaps in danger.

You are now, if you are POA, forwarned that charge cards are no longer safe in your elder's possession if they are to be given to caregivers.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Hello there. I was a nurse working in home healthcare but have been working as home health aide for about 30 years. As aides, we are asked, required by the home healthcare agency we are employed by to buy items all the time, especially getting groceries, prescriptions and all the time. This is NOT uncommon. I, of course, also have access to the numbers on their cards BUT, I am not a thief I did NOT get into this business to steal but I know there are some who DO get into this business to do just that. They take medications, groceries, you name it, because they are thieves, it does NOT bother them and there is no one around much of the time checking up on aides! I have had to deal with them. These agencies, people, particularly those on TV, internet, etc. that say that it is best for the elderly, the disabled to stay in their homes are just....wrong. So many of my patients are vulnerable.. One man got taken for over $100,000 by online scammers and no matter how much I explained or his son explained to him that those people he was talking to on the computer EVERY DAY, were taking his money and he did NOT have much money left in his bank account, he said it was none of our business! I was looking for a pair of socks for my patient and what I found in her linen closet, looking for bandaids, I found 2 envelopes with many 20 dollar bills in them. I called the daughter and she knew nothing about this money! I have had to put up with horrible aides and RN's. RN's that draw up 0.1 ml of morphine to give to a hospice patient in excruciating pain. These 2 RN's did NOT know I had been a nurse and I had taught the aide and medical assistant courses. FYI... aides are NOT to get medications out of bottles! Aides are NOT taught in school how to give meds. The doctor's order on the bottle was to give the patient 0.5 cc of morphine. So... the family horrified that their mom was being given one-fifth the dosage. No wonder she was constantly in pain. It is NOT just the aides that are stealing. ??? Yeah... wondering what was going on with the 4/5 of the morphine the patient did NOT get! I told this to the son and daughter. But they STILL expected me to give this morphine, draw it up from the bottle. I am working as an aide! I am NOT a nurse here. I am 72 years old in 2025,
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Reply to DonnaF777
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Talk to the care provider about this. Let them know they are not allowed to EVER use your Mom's money or credit cards. If she needs something, tell them to let you know abd you will make the purchase. Call your Mom's local police dept. and ask them how to proceed with charges.
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Reply to Loralovesbread1
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Even if the LO doesn't have dementia, they may have forgotten that they told the aide to buy something for themselves as a thank you. I would really hold off of doing anything (including getting mad) until you know more. Have you talked to the aide? Have you checked the monthly statements enough to know where and what was purchased? If your LO can't remember making some of the purchases, then he/she has enough memory issues that you may be reaching a point where they need more support. A good aide that gets along with your LO is worth their weight in gold. Don't blow it.
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Reply to mikeindc
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In the future, you could allow the aide to make purchases on credit or debit card up to a certain low amount on behalf of the client, insist they keep receipts and have a certain day each week on which you go over them with the aide to make sure the expenses were legit.

For amounts over that low amount, they call or text you first for permission. They can send a photo of the item and transaction. Then you keep those records in a specified file on computer or phone.

I never had trouble with any of my parents' caregivers over a period of 5+ years. It needs to be clear at the outset how such issues are handled.
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Reply to Fawnby
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sanmann Jul 24, 2025
That is good advice. My mother's caregiver was provided the duties in written and verbal form and she defied every item she could. She undoes what I do, just today she talked mom into taking a shower and washing her hair when she is a fall risk and when I have told her repeatedly I take mom to her personal training and assist mom with her shower at that time. Today mom is going to training and was to shower and shampoo after. Mom told me that the caregiver talked her into it. This caregiver was able to get mom's PIN number from her, luckily I found the note regarding this and changed the PIN number, the woman has gone through every one of mom's drawers in spite of my asking nicely several times then demanding she stop with her not answering me and her trying to tell mom she needs to be able to get in mom's drawers to help her look for lost items. When I provide lunch for mom (and this caretaker gets lunch as well, daily) she decides to give mom something else. I leave notes on the food so they know which it is. This woman has the nerve to write her own notes and put it on other food items in her refrigerator she prefers to have. I have repeatedly asked this woman not to do it. My point here is that there are people out there who are never going to be honest and who are always looking for a way to con a defenseless person. I will fire this woman in the future and actually did a trail run on two companies with a total of 7 different caretakers, none of who would follow the rules, none who would help mom fix lunch, none who took her on a walk, the only two things I requested. So for now until I find someone else I have to put up with her. All the firm boundaries and rules on the planet will not stop people who are up to no good. (She stole mom's wedding ring and earrings-which she later returned to an obvious drawer we had already looked in repeatedly. No telling what else she has taken that we have not noticed). I am in the process of hiring a second caretaker but she has not decided if she will take the job or not. Sadly the best caretaker mom had was a young schizophrenic girl from an agency but she became ill and I discontinued services with that agency for the terrible people they supplied. I think cameras would be helpful but I have not found any that are small enough to not be noticed.
(1)
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Discuss with the administrator / owner of caregiver agency ASAP.

IT may be time for you / a family member or legal guardian to take over managing your mom's finances / expenditures - if you aren't already.

It is very easy for a caregiver to take cards / money.

If you do not have legal authority over your parents' finances, you need to get this now. It would help to have a limit on the charging at one time ($50 ? $100).

If your parents are of sound mind and you do not have any legal authority, then it is up to your parents to decide how to manage / handle.

I would advise you to contact Adult Protective Services.
Someone needs to talk to your parents if they are allowing caregivers this level of access to their finances.

Gena / Touch Matters
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Reply to TouchMatters
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This is a reply to Sanmann,
Get rid of this aid!!!!
Get a safe to put your Mom's personal business. Don't give Mom the combo. Have bank statements come to you and not Mom, or else this aid will be reviewing the statements too.
The longer you keep this aid, the bolder she will get. She's already bold to ask you for your Mom's checkbook to "hide it".
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Reply to JanPeck123
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Dear Anner32,
Time to give your Mom an allowance and put all her personal things locked in a safe. I'd get rid of the aid if you don't trust her.
If your Mom is asking the aid to buy her things, tell Mom you will have supplies shipped to her via Amazon. Have the aid send you a picture of the supplies on the day received.
If you decide to let Mom have a little cash, have it in an envelope with amount specified. Then all transactions out of that envelope needs a receipt and a picture of the purchase.
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Reply to JanPeck123
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