Elderly father suffers at the hand of elderly mother who is narcissistic. I need suggestions! Hi! I am a 46 years old daughter and my sweet father who is 87yo with Parkinson's and Dementia is subject to my 84yo elderly mom who is stubborn and insensitive and narcissistic. My mom is clearly overwhelmed by the tasks of caring for herself, maintaining a house, finances and coordinating in-home caregivers for my dad. Who wouldn't be, right?! I have always envisioned helping care for my dad. He was my lifeline while growing up with a mom who still is unempathetic and invalidates, argues and undervalues my thoughts and feelings throughout my life. As my mom is aging (aren't we all :P) she has gotten even worse, arguing with me about the silliest things--literally! She is resistant to most changes, anywhere from relocating the keys to a place where my "key-collecting" father cannot have access to them, to granting the nighttime caregiver permission to turn on the heater at 5am when my dad is assisted in showering. She doesn't consistently give his Parkinson's medicine to him due to being forgetful and easily distracted. My dad is still lucid most of the day time, but is 7 days into becoming a sundowner dementia patient, where he doesn't believe he's at home and acts paranoid, and agitated. I have offered to buy their house (providing them with needed income) move our family in to their house to alleviate my mom of coordinating caregivers and other decisions that effect my father. My dad likes the idea, my mom says, she feels like "we are asking to take over her life". I said, "well, I suppose you could feel like that, and in that case, think of it as us taking the life that makes you miserable so that you can start the life that makes you less stressed and happy". Many times, my dad acknowledges my mom is difficult for him and seems like he might agree to appointing me with durable power of attorney. The big question is: HOW CAN I GO ABOUT CARING FOR HIS NEEDS WITHOUT HAVING TO GO THROUGH MY POWER HUNGRY MOTHER? Off and on throughout my life and especially the last few years, my dad has been regretting he married my mom because she is bitter and unloving to him and me (yes, she is my birth mom) and a difficult person for many others to deal with. I don't want for them to legally divorce to get his 1/2 to take care of him but I sure don't have money for round the clock private caregivers and he's too big for me to do it, as I am petite. Plus physically caregiving 24/7 is not mentally stimulating enough for me. My father wants to stay home till death if possible. I believe he'd do better emotionally and physically if his wishes are honored. It feels like my mom is the roadblock to good care for my father. I would rather not seek the help of an attorney because that is costly and could get ugly and further hurt everyone. HELP!