My dad is age 96 with diminishing eyesight. Can't read nor drive, but can walk around famliar areas. He is loosing his short term memory, but can hold a conversation well , superficial conversations that are not "deep". He hates being alone and wants something scheduled 24:7... .he is also a military background .
He wont sit because he is afraid of falling asleep. Taking naps is lazy.
He won't use a cane to stabilize because he feels people with walkers and canes use them for attention.
He does not want to live like this another 30 yrs! ( i tried not to laugh because he was serious)
He had a cartaker 9 hrs a week, and doesn't want her because that shows weakness and he does all the laundry before she gets there. SHe does get him to a mall to walk .
I work, started my family late (had my children at age 41, 47) so I am now age 60 with a 13 and 19 yr old. I work T,W.Th 7:15 to 4:15. I am so tired thinking of how to keep him busy. He comes everyday at 4:30-8:30 for dinner. Saturdays he goes to all Kates' activities with me (volleyball or basketball), Sundays he goes to church with us at 10:30 and stays all day.
He has a lady friend that takes him out twice a wk for a total of 5 hrs
He has a nice guy age 65 that takes him to lunch 2 x a month
He has a nice couple that takes him to church at 9am and gets him back for my church at 10:30
He recently was on a ladder washing all his house windows, and only last year was on the roof with a leaf blower. ANd he can't see well...he waits till no one is around, and then gets on the roof.
He thinks he is age 70, but really is more like age 85, quickly becoming age 96.
Went to a day center and they said he was too old and his short term memory was too advanced. I disagree, he was better than some people I saw there. He just gets nervous and repeats himself and can't remember names well anymore. He does need help IF there is someone on the floor that could trip him, but he can get around himself
SO, I need suggestions on what to do for activities for him...he refuses to go to Independent living. Merrill Gardens manager keeps inviting him to their men's club 2 x month. She is wonderful, but he thinks she is trying to trick him into moving there ,,,,so he goes, and stays only 1 hr...
He won't listen to books on tape
He won;t sit long because he is afraid he will fall asleep, and he feels taking naps is a sign of laziness
He won't use a cane, because he feels people with canes and walkers do it for attention. A cane could stabilize him in an area he is unfamiliar with..
He can't play cards nor drive anymore due to his limited eyesight.
Since I work, my siblings live out of state (but help alot), I feel badly because I wish I could find a day center that wanted him, or some ideas for him and his cartaker to do those 9 hrs, , or something I can do with him at my house as I do cleaning/laundry...he wakes each day wanting to write down on his legal pad what he is doing that day....do I make up and do errands i don't need to do just so he has something to write down and feel he got done.
ALL he wants to do is physical things....a Senior Living center asked me what would makehim happy...i told her, serving the dinner, washing the dishes, helping...just wants to work and feel needed...but he mopped my kitchen floor and almost ruined it (he can't see), we let him paint a room (and the walls are splotchy (as he can't see), he will wash your clothes (but won't separate so ruins them too)
He peels my vegetables and leaves half the skin on them (cant' see)
He is like a toddler that wants to do everything, and can't do anything
SUMMARY: need suggestions on what to do to keep him busy and feeling good about himself....
(he takes only a baby aspirin each day....he could live 20 yrs! but his eyesight and memory won't be as good in 3-4 yrs)