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My Mom has dementia. I live with her and she does go out with my friends and I but has been expressing a desire to meet a gentleman.
She is in the beginning stages of dementia, has problems hearing, and gets dizzy from an inoperable brain tumor she has. But, she is a fun, loving, but lonely woman.
There are activities for her but they are during the day, and I dont feel comfortable with her limitations, her going places without me.

Does anyone have any ideas? My father passed away 9 years ago and it took her this long to want to meet someone, and I am totally clueless on what to do.

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Yah .. PACE (Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly) is available in many states. Sure worth a call. Also, I know there are church-related groups that have social service outreaches with visiting companions.
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The need and want for companionship is a very natural thing, particularly as we age, I would think. They have lost spouses and so many friends. I think finding her a good friend and companion may be extremely helpful to you as well. Why not?!
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Thanks so much. :-)
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My elderly mother with dementia is part of a gov't sponsored day program for elderly/handicapped where they come get her, take care of her all day, give her meds, meals, and entertain them. She is very sociable and enjoys being there. It does not cost me anything, even tho she has above the required limit for medicaid. See if your state has the PACE program or one like it. Its all-encompassing care for the elderly that takes place during day and they bring them home at night.
Doctors, nurses onsite.
Other adult daycares would know how to take care of your mom, and funding can be available. Bus even picks them up and helps them.
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I was able to find a "companion" through a local agency who comes for the afternoon when I work. Both my parents (alzhemiers and frailty) love her and she is a a big help and friend to them. this has been a blessing for us all, as I am new this. It is worth it!
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It's a longshot (even for younger seekers), but how about looking at a senior online companion site with her? Maybe, just maybe a nearby gentleman and his family are looking for female companionship. Good luck! ** And thanks to ldydi777 for this line: “Later on we found out they never turned their papers in to the state because they both had dementia and forgot.” No offense to your mom intended, ldydi777, but you wrote one hilarious punchline. I laugh every time I get a visual, and I need more laughs at this stage of my caregiving. The sweet part was their togetherness, dementia and all.
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My mom married a high school boyfriend seven years ago, the last five years we have seen significant changes in her disease. Now, there are many, many times, in fact I'll say most of the time, she does not remember marrying him. He has been a godsend to this family and took care of her completely until two years ago.
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Thank you all for your advise. While I am working, my sister is there to take care of her as well as my brother's caregiver.

It is very rough because Mom not only has dementia, but an inoperable brain tumor and she gets dizzy and falls very easily. So, most places will not want to be responsible, which I totally understand. Anything that she would go to, I would have to be there with her.

I am not looking for someone for her to "marry" just someone she can sit down and watch a movie with, or share the type of music she listens too.

We are looking for a caregiver at home for her, and also will be meeting with a representative from the department of aging. SO,hopefully, I will have more ideas. :-)
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Back in 1980, my grandmother, at the ripe old age of 80, met a man in a residential care home and they married a few years later. Both had alz. They were delightful together. She outlived him. It happens.
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Personally I would not want to get into finding Mom a mate. Her condition in my opinion is not such that seeking a mate or companion would be first on my list.

I suppose you could take her to a senior citizens center or a church who has senior programs, or an Alzheimer's group?

I am sorry that I could not come up with something better, but as I said I would not encourage it.
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Mentally fit or not lets face it, it is very uncommon for a widow to find a nice
companion. The number of men is so much smaller than the number of senior citizen aged women. I think your mother needs to face the fact that this ship had probably sailed.
My father was a widower from the age of 55 yrs and had opportunities to find his own "companion" or second wife. He chose not to enter the search. He said he could not "replace" his first wife and didn't want an unhappy relationship. He avoided senior citizen groups and trips because the numbers of widows to widowers was so out of balance. Being the only man at an event he found very uncomfortable although he always enjoyed the company of women.
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Since you work, who stays with her through the day? Does she stay home alone? There will come a time when she is not able to be home alone. It will be easier on you and her if you start to let go by allowing help to transport her to either a day care program or senior community center. Many of the programs also have transportation available. The socialization is great for them and helps them feel useful and involved in life. Imagine, staying home alone all day every day and how hard that would be on you, it is probably harder on her especially if she is in the early stages of dementia. An attraction may develop, but I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. She would have companionship and a very close friend. It would not need to lead to marriage, I think she is probably missing the comfort and security of this type of relationship which helped her to feel validated as a useful person.
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If you have any senior centers with dances, take her. These are usually held in the afternoon because most seniors don't drive at night. She's in this honeymoon stage of the illness when a person is feeling like they were young again. Their long term memories are still intact, so are feelings of romances. There will come a time when she becomes uninterested, but for now introduce her to situations where there are older men and let her flirt. It will be good for her! Best wishes.
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Adult day care would be a great idea if there is on in your area. Or a Senior Center, if they come and pick her up. You may be fearful to have her go places without you but you may have to do it at least for a while. Most Senior Centers do a good job picking people up and dropping them off safely.
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Just don't let her get married again. My mom did and it turned into a nightmare. They combined their finances and it was a disaster with her husbands kids, among many other issues. It put me in the hospital with shingles because of the stress. Later on we found out they never turned their papers in to the state because they both had dementia and forgot. Talk about complications and problems. Companions yes, marriage NO.
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Try to find a volunteer her age that would be willing to take her out once a week either to a movie or just to the park.
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Ah Kimmy you have a lot on your plate, I guess like all of us one way or the other. Best places I would say would be senior day social centers, they play bingo etc, go on trips for the day, etc, she can make friends, if she meets a dude great for them. If she wants a regular companion to take her out during the day or evening you would have to hire a companion helper, perhaps there are some links to that care here.
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I would suggest an Adult Daycare service if you feel she would be able to attend without your presence. The problem is, I think most only take place during the daytime hours though.
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Kimmym30, perhaps you could find a senior center near you where she could spend some time and meet others?
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I am sorry, I may have misconveyed what I was asking. I know she will not find a relationship. What I am wondering is does anyone have any suggestions on helping her find a companion. Not a companion to take care of her, but a friend to spend time with.

Everything I find is during the day and I work during the day and cannot take her to places. Also, with her limitations, I dont want her to be there alone.

Thanks for any suggestions you can give.
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If it happens, it happens. It probably won't.
AL with activities may actually be enjoyable for her. Some romances do spark, if not at least there is company and activities. You can still break her out on weekends for a little extra fun.
If socializing would entice her to AL, it may be a good thing, as the disease advances she will require 24 x 7 care, which as many in this site would advise is too much for at home, particularly for sole caregiver
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