Mom with Dementia is wanting to find a companion. Any ideas?

Back in 1980, my grandmother, at the ripe old age of 80, met a man in a residential care home and they married a few years later. Both had alz. They were delightful together. She outlived him. It happens.

Just don't let her get married again. My mom did and it turned into a nightmare. They combined their finances and it was a disaster with her husbands kids, among many other issues. It put me in the hospital with shingles because of the stress. Later on we found out they never turned their papers in to the state because they both had dementia and forgot. Talk about complications and problems. Companions yes, marriage NO.

I would suggest an Adult Daycare service if you feel she would be able to attend without your presence. The problem is, I think most only take place during the daytime hours though.

If you have any senior centers with dances, take her. These are usually held in the afternoon because most seniors don't drive at night. She's in this honeymoon stage of the illness when a person is feeling like they were young again. Their long term memories are still intact, so are feelings of romances. There will come a time when she becomes uninterested, but for now introduce her to situations where there are older men and let her flirt. It will be good for her! Best wishes.

It's a longshot (even for younger seekers), but how about looking at a senior online companion site with her? Maybe, just maybe a nearby gentleman and his family are looking for female companionship. Good luck! ** And thanks to ldydi777 for this line: “Later on we found out they never turned their papers in to the state because they both had dementia and forgot.” No offense to your mom intended, ldydi777, but you wrote one hilarious punchline. I laugh every time I get a visual, and I need more laughs at this stage of my caregiving. The sweet part was their togetherness, dementia and all.

Kimmym30, perhaps you could find a senior center near you where she could spend some time and meet others?

Ah Kimmy you have a lot on your plate, I guess like all of us one way or the other. Best places I would say would be senior day social centers, they play bingo etc, go on trips for the day, etc, she can make friends, if she meets a dude great for them. If she wants a regular companion to take her out during the day or evening you would have to hire a companion helper, perhaps there are some links to that care here.

Try to find a volunteer her age that would be willing to take her out once a week either to a movie or just to the park.

Since you work, who stays with her through the day? Does she stay home alone? There will come a time when she is not able to be home alone. It will be easier on you and her if you start to let go by allowing help to transport her to either a day care program or senior community center. Many of the programs also have transportation available. The socialization is great for them and helps them feel useful and involved in life. Imagine, staying home alone all day every day and how hard that would be on you, it is probably harder on her especially if she is in the early stages of dementia. An attraction may develop, but I think the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. She would have companionship and a very close friend. It would not need to lead to marriage, I think she is probably missing the comfort and security of this type of relationship which helped her to feel validated as a useful person.

I was able to find a "companion" through a local agency who comes for the afternoon when I work. Both my parents (alzhemiers and frailty) love her and she is a a big help and friend to them. this has been a blessing for us all, as I am new this. It is worth it!