Mother and brother have lived together in my parents house for almost 50 years—includes last 10 yrs since my fathers passing. Ready to put 92 yr old mom into AL hopefully before holidays. Recently learned they have major cockroach infestation so exterminators are being checked out. Preparing for this involves deep cleaning and washing and packing in plastic all clothing, dishes, etc. kitchen, closets, bedrooms, attic etc must be cleaned, bagged and area sprayed once and again in 30 days. Brother is a hoarder and entire 2nd floor is stacked from floor to ceiling with tools, furniture, etc I’m surprised the weight of everything has not caved in to 1st floor. Brother is refusing to move his stuff out. Does not think mother is ready for AL. I’m thinking if social services come, both will be required to move to a safer environment. Mother is ready for AL and knows it’s time to sell the house to support her care. Is there any other options besides an eviction notice to force my brother to get his stuff out of there or let it be sold in an estate sale?

Re the extermination, I would double-check with another exterminator on the process. Years ago, we were told to do what you are trying to do. More recently, we did not have to do any of that. The exterminators placed food in multiple strategic locations; the roaches are it and carried it away, and other roaches ate it, and the roaches died. I was never dealing with an infestation, but I think, as someone else has suggested, packing everything up might end up keeping a lot of roaches from being killed. As a word of explanation, these exterminations occurred in rental buildings in which I lived. The conditions in my own apartment were not hospitable to roaches, but we all got them because they traveled from apartment to apartment in our nice but old building!
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Reply to caroli1

So Brother is against Mom moving to AL, forcing the sale of the home he lives in? This happens quite a bit. Change is very hard for many people.

My view may differ (I am just a stranger on a forum afterall!)

I see the cockroachs like shells on the beach. You can look down at them, the sheer number, get overwhelmed. If you look up, to the horizon, the waves are coming in. Big waves bringing big changes 🌊

If your Mom has capacity to decide to stay or go for herself - she decides. If she wants to go, she sells her home. Brother deals with that consequence - either buys the home himself or moves out.

If Mom was no longer capable (eg if adv dementia) then legal guardianship sought & appointed, then transfer to AL/Memory Care. Home sold by legal guardian. Brother evicted.

So unless Mom decides to stay put - change is coming. (If she does stay, change will be delayed, but will still eventually come).

Your Brother may have heard the words but have real denial about this fact. As a long term hoarder he may need substantial social/mental health support & may benefit from a case manager or social worker. Depending on his age, even AL too?

It is not up to you to convince him or fix his denial. I think in your shoes I would try to locate a social worker with experience in these family dynamics/elder matters & go from there. Ask Mom what SHE wants to do & help support her towards that. Many hoarders do want to live differently but lack the skills to plan or do it. Your Brother may settle well into his own AL apartment near Mom.
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Reply to Beatty

Jlaroche: Imho, in my mother's town, police performed well being checks. Possibly this could be done at your mother's.
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Reply to Llamalover47

Yes, APS can make 'surprise visits' if they feel that there is actual neglect or danger in a Sr's living arrangement. I have an acquaintance who is 72, has custody of 3 young grandchildren and is a hoarder to boot. The garage is completely packed full of her stuff. She was going to move, so moved all her stuff into pods--decided NOT to move and went back into the house, renting out (illegally) the upstairs and she and the 3 kids live in 900 sf of basement. It's filthy and disgusting. Not trying to be judgmental, just giving the facts. JUST cockroaches would be a step up for her.

The garage is now overrun with rats and mice--slowing chewing to pieces almost all of L's possessions. The kids are left alone many hours in the day and they run wild.

CPS has been called numerous times. They NEVER called first. As bad as her situation is, it's still deemed 'better' for the kids that foster care. SMH.

She is now on the radar and CPS makes spot visits, which drive her crazy, but there's nothing she can do about it.

If your mother's part of the house is infested, so is brothers. Roaches don't follow the rules and stay in one place. Eradicating them completely is almost impossible, but can be done.

I am continually surprised at the seemingly low standards that are set to qualify someone to live in filth and disarray and still be considered safe.
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Reply to Midkid58

I’m concerned by what you say about the possibility of the 2nd floor collapsing onto the 1st floor. Is this (understandably) a bit of an exaggeration due to how frustrating the circumstances are or is this actually a real fear you have?

If the house is currently structurally unsound I would call APS and possibly the local fire department as well to report the situation and to at least get your mom and brother on the radar screens of the authorities.

So sorry you are dealing with all of this.
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Reply to SnoopyLove

My brother in law got turned into Dept of Human Services because he lost weight and they thought someone wasn't feeding him they came out and did a check on him unannounced so that maybe the way to go is to write a letter or call them to report it. They checked on my brother in law twice unannounced then a letter came saying it was unfounded. How we knew she was even there he had cameras in his house so we saw her.

Maybe doing it that way or a welfare check on her.

Prayers that you can move her and get your brother out of the house.
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Reply to Babs2013

Why does your brother have to remove everything?

My mom is a hoarder and they come in and treat for bugs with no problem.

Removing items only spreads the vermin, they should be contained for eradication.

I would check into bombing, this would require a few nights in a hotel and could give your mom a change of scenery to see how she does.

Can you clarify if your mom wants to go into care or you think it is time. She is ready can be read both ways.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal

You can call the police for a welfare check. They'll go see if everyone's OK, they'll ask to check if there's food in the refrigerator, and will want to talk to both your mom and brother separately.

It isn't social services, per se, but it puts both the police and your brother on notice that they'll be keeping an eye on things.
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Reply to MJ1929

If your Mom can make her own decisions, not much you can do. And brother has lived there 50 yrs, its his home. Not sure if you can evict him after 50 years.

Yes, going to have a problem getting rid of the infestation because they have to work from top to bottom. If you do the bottom, then the roaches go to the top. Can you get the exterminator to talk to brother? Is there someplace you can put his hoard temporarily, like rent a Pod? Because those roaches are probably in that stuff too.
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Reply to JoAnn29

So many things to deal with at one time! I am assuming that it is your brother who is living with mom. He is a hoarder and nothing, other than physically having him removed, will get him out. Sadly, hoarding is a mental condition and takes much therapy to control. The first and most important issue is Mom's physical health. She is ready to move. Move her to AL and then deal with brother. At least mom will be safe and won't be in the middle of everything. If the house is in such a state, the only option might be a tear down. You need to check with an attorney (sorry) to have all of your options laid out. It will be tricky with brother involved. I wish you much luck and am sorry you have to deal with this and not enjoy moms final years.
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Reply to Twithdogs

Rorchestra will not be enough to be deemed unsafe as a good few exterminations can get rid of them.

I For not believe Social Services can come in your home without your permission.

You can only file an Eviction if you own the home or you have the Authority to sell the home.

Do you a Dr's note from your mom's Dr saying she shouldn't live in her home with your brother taking care of her?

Your mother may not want to go to a Senior home?

If both mom and brother show up in Eviction Court and they both want to continue living together in the family home, more than likely, the Judge will not grant your Eviction.

If mom really wants to stay in her home, she should be allowed to.

If there is a Roach Infestation, it can be recorded when you call and have Adult Social Service do a well check on your mom but your brother will be given time to do the extermination and they would schedule another visit to check.

BUT Even the Social Service can't make her move if she tells them she wants to stay in her home, especially since she has her son living with her and she's not alone.
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Reply to bevthegreat

Let me tell you from experience. If you let the state start poking around in some elder's home, be prepared for them to completely take over and they will.
Your uncle needs to be made aware of this. Get your mom into an AL now before social services gets involved because they will put both of them into nursing homes, not AL facilities.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver

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