I am 61, female, & live with my very fragile 89 yr. old Mom. All other close family members are deceased including my father (her husband of 65+ yrs), my older brother & only sibling, Mom’s friends & relatives, Dad’s only siblings, and my sweet husband who unfortunately passed 19 yrs ago at the age of 45.
The point I’m trying to make is I have been alone for many years and I’m used to handling things on my own (I don’t like it, but that’s just the way my life has turned out). My Mom is definitely fading & there are mornings I’m not even sure she’ll wake up. However, luckily she has no serious health issues, yet.
Being children of the Great Depression, my parents rarely ever got rid of anything and the house is jam packed with stuff. Mom & I get along for the most part, and I handle almost of her needs. The only touchy subject we do not agree on is all the clutter, mess, and junk in disrepair that has accumulated in the house. Even though my parents collected and saved all kinds of stuff, there is really very little of any true value here.
My biggest fear has always been that by the time she passes & I’m able to live my life again, I’ll be too old to enjoy it - as I’m sure many others can relate to as well. I do have degenerative arthritis & other physical problems which limit my mobility, and the thought of cleaning out everything in this house is going to be a nightmare.
I cannot stand clutter and have been quietly trying to “clean up” stuff whenever possible but it’s a slow, difficult, frustrating process. Mom absolutely will not budge when it comes to cleaning out things from the past that are no longer useful. I’ve had friends & relatives actually tell her that certain pieces of furniture, etc. should probably go to the curb, but nothing seems to persuade her. It’s embarrassing and depressing to live in a house where every room is outdated and filled with clutter, but Mom refuses to part with a thing.
How have AC readers dealt with this type of situation in the past? Mom is hardly a wealthy woman and whatever small amount of cash we could get is desperately needed. I am losing my mind & definitely my patience waiting for her permission to purge; I am anxious to begin tossing stuff out.
Any ideas or advice? I’m sick of being buried with old stuff that generally has no significance to me whatsoever.
-I’m Up To My Armpits!!