My father has lived with me and my family for about 5 years. He was always helpful, took out the trash, helped with dishes, even cooked occasionally. He went and stayed with my brother and his son about a year ago for about 6 months (was just going to visit but my dad's visits turn into long stays.) He finally had to come back to my house. He's been back since last summer and he is now just an absolute slob. I feel like all I do is nag the guy, which sucks but I have kids and enough house work already. I'm 7 and a half months pregnant now too and he was more helpful before I got pregnant.
He never showers. I mean like months without showering. His hair is so greasy it looks like he dips it in cooking oil. His room smells so bad that it creeps around the whole house. He hasn't done his laundry in 5 months. He wears the same clothes and socks and just puts them in a pile in his room. I bought him a laundry basket and I try and give him a day a week to do his laundry but he never "feels like it." He won't do his dishes so I pile them in one side of the sink and remind him daily. He will stuff the trash instead of taking it out or just open my garage and throw things towards the garage door(the outside trash is right outside the garage door.) He uses chewing tobacco and will just spit it in the bathroom sink and not clean it out(also spit it in the kitchen trash and not clean it if he gets it on the lid,(my kids have put their hand in it throwing stuff in the trash.) He never use to leave the toilet seat up and now does it every time. He coughs all over the place(copd) without covering his mouth. He never washes his hands. Tries to drink out of the milk carton(with the cough mouth I ended up getting a lock for the carton that my kids use, he has to buy his own.) My kids are in elementary school and I really worry about his hygiene. With a new little baby coming, hygiene is going to be an even bigger deal. This is just some of the daily gross I have to deal with.
A bit about him. He's 79 years old. He has congestive heart failure and copd. He drives around town all the time and goes here and there including fishing and going places he enjoys. The only time he acts like he's feeling so bad or just can't do something is when it's cleaning up after himself. No one else in my family wants him to live with them. My mom and him have been seperated(not divorced but that's a whole other story) for like 15 years. He basically has nowhere else to go. I'm definitely not the "favorite" child of the family. My dad's favorite is my sister, my mom's my brother. That honestly doesn't bother me much but I'm starting to think that it may be a problem. Like I'm the kid that can just be treated however. My parents have never appreciated my honesty but I'd rather get to the point in matters then call my siblings and complain about them like they do to me(my mom lives with my sister and while she's cleaner she's not exactly a peach to deal with, she's never happy.)
Alright well there's my little story. I could go on but I need to get to the point. What can I do? I've tried being nice about it. I've tried being mean about it. I've tried to encourage. I almost feel like he is just being a d**k on purpose because no one else wants him around for long periods of time. He runs out of money a week and a half into the month then just mooches the other 2 and a half weeks. Short of just kicking him out and being the even bigger pariah of the family, any suggestions?