Called ombudsman and they told me I could NOT remain anonymous and they could NOT guarantee there would be no retaliation against my mom.

I feel your pain. My loved one will not take his meds either and is not of sound mind and I am POA also. I called the ombudsman for help and they said to call the Illinois Department of Health which will also probably result in retaliation. Two people told me to contact a lawyer for Family legal issues in which I will do on Monday to talk for me. I cannot believe they also said he is of sound mind and the next they are saying they will contact me regarding his food. If he is in sound mind then why is here there and why am I being contacted? All the nursing homes should have someone on the outside monitoring them and have a complaint focal point who can actually do something to fix the problem.
From what the Catholic charities have told me is that they do not have power to do anything except suggest and ask just like us. Nothing else.

Too distracted to engage in this thread very well, but it’s a great topic and I wish you the best. For what it’s worth, I too had been CERTAIN that the very point of ‘ombudsman’ was confidentiality.

Look for another facility.

First of all while retaliation is a valid fear, it is not allowed to happen. Retaliation by the staff could result in legal action on your part. The purpose of the ombudsmen is to be a mediator between families, residents, and the facility. I have worked with the ombudsmen on many occasions and the parties involved were not anonymous. Perhaps you are thinking of adult protective which typically involves anonymity.

I agree - place a camera in the room until you can get her out and into somewhere else. Not all states allow but I took this from google: At least six states -- Illinois, Louisiana, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Texas, and Washington -- have passed laws permitting families to install a camera in a nursing home if the resident and the resident's roommate have agreed. ... In other states, the law surrounding camera use is more vague.

Had it have not been for the camera we had in my mom's room, we would have not found out that her hospice nurse was verbally and physically threatening her.

IF true, I'd put the issue on hold and be looking for another place for mom and then follow up on it...she wouldn't be there for any retaliation. It's dreadful that you can't file a complaint. Is this a practice in general, or is it a particular employee? I also think you might get some info from an elder law attorney, or from the State Dept of HEalth which probably oversees complaints, and skip the ombudsman?
If it involves a nurse, there is the nursing board.

Update on addressing issues with mom in her Memory care Facility.... Thank you for your responses. I am still fairly new to mom living in a facility (and AD) and am trying to navigate my way through everyday with the sole goal of making sure moms getting the care she needs and deserves ( and staying sane and calm while doing it).
I declined to complete the complaint with OMBUDSMAN and instead have contacted the Dept of State ( who is over Ombudsman) and the corporate office of moms MCF and filed a complaint with my name included. The regional manager called me back within the hour of initiating the complaint. He is currently at another facility in the state working but, I will be meeting with him and ED Thursday when he gets back into town. He spoke with the ED when he got off the phone with me and is to call me back this morning. Hopefully we can come together and resolve these issues going forward for my mom. This is extremely frustrating and scary now that they have closed the Facilities to all visitors due to the Coronavirus; this is unchartered territory for many of us I'm sure. I will keep you posted with any updates.
Thank you to everyone! Go Bless us all!

All interaction between resident and the ombudsman is confidential. Only if the resident gives permission to the ombudsman can the ombudsman speak with anyone else. As for the confidentiality of the conversation between family member and ombudsman, I, personally, would visit with the resident about the family member's concerns. The LTCO is an advocate for the resident - not the family member.
As for retaliation, I often state that per resident rights, it is not allowed. BUT you cannot stop a person from acting out, you cannot change a person's character. Regulations are in place to prevent retaliation but cannot eliminate the problem. I reiterate to all residents that if they are being retaliated against, to report it. Management will have to deal with the staff issue. Retaliation is often verbal abuse and neglect! Management is required to report this abuse.

This kind of thing should not even be an issue with our loved ones. I have had my dog treated better in kennels. I was shocked at the way nursing homes just take over and cover for bad workers when my mom was in 3 different NHs for rehab. Two of the three were awful despite having a 5 star Medicare rating. The reality was much different. the first highly rated place neglected her so that a 4 stage bedsore formed and they didn't even tell me about it! I found out from the hospital when she was rushed to the ER with delirium from a UTI that I kept asking them to test for. The NH kept telling me she had dementia and weird behavior was to be expected....Mom had never been diagnosed with such and her behavior was not characteristic and developed into a bad UTI and delirium because they did not listen to me. The second NH had an aide who dropped her and broke mom's ankle. The stupid aide thought she could molify us by giving us ice cream, as though we were children. Thankfully the last NH was compassionate and ran well, but she was only in about 3 months for rehab before I took her home on hospice. Needkess to say I am no fan of NHs and would only use them as a last resort based on experience. I am glad you are getting your loved one out of there and hope you have more compassionate treatment elsewhere!

Get your Mom moved. You won’t rest easy until you do. If you approach the administrator enough, they will get her moved. Squeaky wheel gets the oil.

The nursing facility will know that it was you when the Ombudsman approaches the Administrator. Let me add that I had a complaint about my Mom and went to Administrator and SHE told me to contact the Administrator herself. The Ombudsman is only a liason of sorts. The go-between person to resolve disputes. If I felt that my mother was being abused, I would contact DHEC and the police. They would investigate.

Iinstall a camera in her room

True they can't guarantee anything but you have a duty to your mom and the others to help them if it is something harmful being done. Make sure it isnt something petty

My sister has had a number of injuries, disgusting food, missing damaged items, scabies infections, not receiving regular showers, medication ordered and given that was discontinued-no one contacted me about the meds or what the reason was for needing them. Same as you no one has an answer, no one will tell me anything about what happened. I have documented every single thing that happened with photos, emails to staff and admin about what happened. Told everything that happened to admin -they had a meeting.....eventually get back to me once or twice ( 4 falls) with no one accepting responsibility or explanation that ever made sense. I was told sis "flung" herself out of a wheelchair on Christmas day..... Sis does not have the upper body strength or coordination to do such a thing. She was left in the hallway with no way to get anywhere-can not move herself in the wheelchair ever. I have a 50 page complaint ready to go-I waited until we finally got sis out of there-this week-Yeah!

My state site says you can remain anonymous but then you will not receive any info regarding status etc of your case.

I was afraid of retaliation for sure-Sis would not remember when someone did something bad-I felt sure they would do what ever they could get away with while I am not there. I am filing my complaint this week with ombudsman. The staff will know who I am any way due to the evidence I am providing- there is no secret here. Facility will not be able to touch my sister now.

I don't see how you could remain anonymous. Since when you contact the ombudsman you are contacting that person about one specific person.

When I talked the ombudsman, I saw him go talk to the director. Right after he left, the director came over and asked if she could talk to me in her office.

So sorry you are having problems with your facility. I was an admissions director for a skilled nursing facility (SNF) for about 10 years and am a Cert. Assisted Living Admin. (CALA) in NJ. I'm playing catch up on your posts but I believe you said your Mom was in memory care (MC). Can you tell me if she is in an Assisted Living or in a skilled nursing facility (SNF)?

These complaints are a matter of public record to which the Ombudsman has to be held liable for vouching for the facts in the case. As far as retaliation, the sad fact is that no one will stand guard over Mom 24/7 to make certain that everyone treats her perfectly. I am sorry to say I missed the post which told of your serious issues of abuse, but I would suggest that you go ahead and make a public record if there are issues that need addressing. I am guessing you already went to the authorities who run the assisted living place. You cannot, of course, lodge complaints on behalf of residents you are not connected with; that must be done by themselves or their representatives. You CAN speak of instances of abuse you witnessed; it would be best if there was more than you witnessing it, but that isn't always possible. Good luck.