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Ask Dad if, instead of cash, he would like to give the carer(s) a little Holiday party. Let the staff know what you’re doing and ask them to stop in at a certain time so Dad can thank them. He could attend. Then use the money to buy a party tray, some pizza, etc. I made my own salsa and took it and some chips to set up in the lounge. Each of the staff thanked me over and over. You can also tell Dad you’ll put the money in a nice card for him to give her. Let him see you do it, put it in an envelope and seal it., then switch cards. He will be giving her a nice card and nothing else. Explain to her what you’re doing so she can thank him.
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Els1eL Dec 1, 2018
Thank you Ahmjoy. Worth a try.
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Maybe if you had the head nurse explain that its against policy for an employee to except gifts. And if they do and management finds out, the care person would be fired and he would want that to happen.

If he doesn't except that, could you make a deal with the person to except the money but to return it to you in private.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Els1eL Dec 1, 2018
Thank you JoAnn. I’ll try that and see what happens.
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Thank you Riverdale and LisaNJ for your answers. I suspected as much and was worried. My Dad, who has Vascular Dementia, is the one who wants to gift a very good carer, who sees to my Mum who has Alzheimer’s, £100, but there are other equally good carers at the Nursing Home. I have tried explaining to him that it might be against policy and the person could lose their job as a result but he flew off the handle and said it was his business and no one else’s. He keeps asking me to withdraw it for him so that he can give it to her. He has even told her of his intention. I’m not sure how to get round it as it is causing friction each time I visit. I’ve tried distraction or suggesting he gifts it to the staff fund but he gets angry.
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My mother's AL ask family if they would like to contribute to a general fund that is then pooled and contributed to employees. Otherwise I dont think a monetary gift is advisable but I am sure or would think that a gift of another nature should be fine.
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If you’re talking about a staff member it is most likely against policy for employees to accept gifts. Where I worked it would have a immediate dismissal for accepting gifts . We had families send bagel trays, muffins, cookies for the entire staff.
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