The chaos that they caused when taking care of my Dad. My Mom passed away, my Dad went into a complete funk 3 days later, never recovered. They had "no will, no health care proxy, no living will or Will" With the help of my husband we got that taken care of. When it came to the question "who would be the POA, Executor" I suggested my two brothers. My dad said NO, that he wanted myself. I repeatedly suggested it would be best to have those two since they lived in the same state. Dad was adamant that I be the POA/Executor. I thought ok no big deal I guess! Not knowing what I would be dealing with ie siblings.
During his care, I asked, begged for help from all my sibling that lived in the area...I was the one that lived out of state, (when commuting up would stay with my parents). They were all too busy, I had my older brother who was the "phone guy", never would come over to take my dad to doctors appointment, nothing just the phone guy...Had another brother that was coming over, taking things with out asking, asking for larger sum of money...to the point that I had to get an attorney to write a letter about removing items from the home, taking advantage of dad's depression after my mom's death. Had a sister who would come over ask "dad do you need any help" of course my Dad would say he was fine...mean while I was in between flights cleaning up fecal matter, changing bed liens, cooking meals, doctor appt, or ER visits, because of falls, missing flight etc. Dealing with a brother that lived at my parents, who was a functioning alcoholic, in all grace he did help with dad...the only one..but always drunk!
This went on until I had a choice to either quit my job, or dad had to move, because of all the ER visits. Social worker told me she would charge me with Elder Abuse. Basically "forcing me" to do something. Very upset over this, I looked at many assist living places with my baby sister, walking away very depress... someone had their mom at a "Family Adult Home"...Long story short a Blessing! They where absolutely wonderful. Of course my siblings were very upset with me, because I did not choose a place that took the individuals on outings. (My dad went from a energic man to sleeping all day, to wheel chair bound because muscle had atrophied).
Dad lived for three years, I was there every other day after my flights, only going home one weekend a month...Almost got a divorce because I was never home. Siblings call Anika's place the "Warehouse for the Dead". Fast Fwd. In July I was home, my Dad decide it was time to be with my mom. While packing to get up there, 3hr drive before getting on a plane...I called older brother to go to the hospital and to please take care of things until I got their, which he never did until my dad had Passed (5hrs later). My siblings all blamed me for not calling them, (I was dealing with the Hospital/Doctors and driving like a maniac). Thinking that my Older brother was handling all these issues with the siblings.
Treated me like I was this awful person, told relatives/friends at the funeral, that I never notified them, sister who works for the same airline (thx's to me) told crews lies about me, basically I was shunned by my own family!
NEVER once in the last 5 yrs heard a thank you for all I did, older brother never set the record straight about the call from me, never a Sorry nothing. When I tried to bring it up, no one was willing to talk. Basically, their behavior was exceptable. They get together for family Xmas dinner, never am I invited...and my Older Brother goes around to family function acting like he is the patriarch of the family. I have forgiven them all because it is healthy for myself period!....But every once in a while I resent them especially my old brother, my sister who works for the same airline. They act like they where always their for my parents..I just want to throw up...Today I feel this way and I hate it.